High Gas Prices Hurting America’s Serial Killers

FARGO, ND – In a world where high gas prices are gouging most Americans pocketbooks, one of America’s oldest and proudest professions is struggling to adapt -serial killers.

With gas prices topping five dollars in many states, serial killers are now having to find, kill and bury their victims much closer to home, increasing the risk of being caught by law enforcement.


Mother Nature Upset Humans Have Been Ignoring Her

FORT SMITH, AR – Mother Nature held a press conference last week because the people of Earth “don’t seem to be picking up the hint.”


Las Vegas is considering allowing gamblers to offer their children as betting collateral.

Las Vegas Amends Laws, Attractions to Lure Visitors

LAS VEGAS, NV – With Las Vegas struggling to attract tourists, the city and its business leaders have begun to make changes that will hopefully bring more people to the city.


Ambulance, Buffets Share Rent to Save Money

BROOKLYN, NY – In an effort to share resources and save money, Ambulance companies have begun co-operating with Chinese food restaurants.


Spider-Man Enters Rehab After DUI Arrest

NEW YORK, NY – Popular vigilante Spider-Man has been arrested for driving under the influence and verbally abusing a New York Police Department Officer after being stopped late last week.


Little Girl Arrested for Marrying Man, Unicorn

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – An eight-year-old girl has been arrested and charged with criminal mischief after presiding over the marriage of a male doll, Jonas, and a small, stuffed unicorn she named Beebee.
The girl, Cassie Weinrich, held the ceremony last month in her bedroom. While no other humans attended the wedding, authorities were called when Weinrich introduced the recently married couple to her elementary school teacher.


Congress Questions Heroes About Steroids

WASHINGTON, DC – Several of the nation’s most recognizable superheroes, including Superman, Batman, The Hulk and Captain America, have been called before a congressional panel investigating the use of steroids and human growth hormone in the superhero community.

Steroids allegations against the superhero community came to light last year after Robin, Batman’s protégé, was arrested after allegedly trying to buy illegal steroids.


Dems to Face Off In "Your Momma" Battle

WASHINGTON, D.C. – With the race for the Democratic nomination yielding no clear victor after months of debates and primaries, the Democratic Party officials have decided the Presidential nomination will go to the winner of a “your momma” battle.


Santa Claus Arrested In Decade Long Counterfeit Sting

NORTH POLE – After several years and hundreds of man hours, the Federal Bureau of Investigation said Tuesday that they have made a single arrest in one of the biggest counterfeit goods operations in the world.


Easter Bunny Arrested For Drug Trafficking During Sting

FORT HANCOCK, TX – The Easter Bunny has been arrested and charged with drug trafficking after the conclusion of a three-year long sting operation conducted by a joint task force of Drug Enforcement Agency officials and Immigration and Naturalization Service officers.


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