WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States of America set a new COVID record as the number of people who claimed the pandemic was a hoax only to then get infected by COVID rose to over two million.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Local Tesla owner, Jacob Gregory, has successfully worked the fact that he owns a Tesla into every conversation he’s had since purchasing the vehicle in late 2020.

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Several cardboard cutouts of fans started a brawl during a recent Philadelphia Flyers hockey game.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Joe Biden stunned the nation during last month’s inauguration ceremony by removing a mask revealing that Hillary Clinton had been disguised as Biden during the election.

NEW YORK, NY – Pornography website Pornhub has pledged to help fight racism by only offering interracial content.

WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the Presidential election, by a considerable margin, Donald Trump has begun hiding from staff in the White House in a desperate attempt to remain President.

RICHMOND, VA – None of the attendees on the weekly Dorchester International sales call have accepted responsibility for the audible fart heard during last week’s video conference call.

PORTLAND, OR – The much anticipated and celebrated 800th story published by online satirical magazine The Scoop News, failed to make any positive impressions and left readers across the world concerned about the future of the newspaper.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Recently released images from the upcoming Star Wars film, The Rise of Skywalker, have angered a number of Star Wars fans who are upset the film will include the color turquoise.