Published May 2010
CHICAGO, IL – A recent article in The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) has provided the clearest link between the rise of MRSA infections and the increase in popularity of Justin Bieber.
Published January 2010
O. M. G! Can you believe this? It is I, your corpulent collaborator of cool, and I am back with another dishing of gossip and goodness.
Published October 2009
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A recent economic study conducted by the Census Bureau has concluded that wealthy Americans actually hate poor Americans.
Published May 2009
ISLAMABAD, Pakistan – After suffering several military defeats in recent weeks, the Taliban is calling for a return to peace talks and to prove its willingness to comply with any new cease fire, Taliban officials have distributed puppies and kittens to every household within the capital city.
“(The Taliban) want peace and we want to give people of Pakistan peace.”
Published February 2009
DENVER, CO – Despite the viewing of 220 “inspirational” films where the underdogs become victorious, The Colorado Rockies lost the World Series in four straight games to the much better Boston Red Sox.
Published October 2006
NEW YORK CITY, NY – Whether celebrities fly to Africa and Asia to get one or simply make one the old fashioned way, it’s clear that this fall’s hot, new fashion accessory is a baby. Babies are popping up all over the place in the arms of celebrities and socialites driving demand for babies and baby accessories through the roof.
Published September 2006
ANAHEIM, CA – After a gathering of Disney Corporation senior Imagineers, it was announced that the cartoon character of Pluto the dog will be reclassified. The change will move Pluto from the classification of “canine” to a new species tentatively called “Dogturd.”
Published October 2005
ST LOUIS, MO – In a move that is both financially and ethically motivated, hospital administrators in Missouri have decided to begin screening patients for moral values and basing treatment options on the outcomes of those screenings.
Published October 2004
DURANGO, CO – Less than three months after buying a Black Labrador Retriever puppy, local woman Gail Freiberg, has expressed dissatisfaction with both the puppy and the decision to adopt the puppy.
Published June 2004
DES PLAINES, IL – In an effort to capitalize on the success of the Adult Happy Meals, the fast food company McDonald’s will begin offering similar meals geared towards teens called Angst Meals. The meals will include a super-size drink, filled half full, a large French Fry, three cheeseburgers and a “special gift.”