President Trump has locked himself in a White House bunker after screaming that he has seen a ghost.

Trump Refuses to Come Out of Bunker After Seeing Ghost

WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to multiple sources within the White House, President Trump has been hiding in a bunker since Halloween after he reported seeing “a ghost.”


President Trump stands outside a White House entrance, unable to enter due to the stick he carries being longer than the width of the doorway.

Frustrated Trump Unable to Bring Long Stick into White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has been stuck outside the White House for several hours as he tries to enter the building carrying a long stick.


Trump picks his nose, attempting to remove boogers, during a meeting in the Oval Office.

Cleaning Crew Called to Clear Trump’s Boogers from Desk

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A specialized cleaning crew has been called in to the Oval Office after White House staff discovered a large number of boogers that President Trump had smeared underneath the Resolute desk.


Trump has started wearing masks that his staff told him are made from porn star’s used underwear.

Trump Wears Mask after Staff Insist It’s Made from Porn Star’s Used Underwear

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In order to persuade President Trump to wear a mask, White House officials told the president his masks are made from used underwear previously worn by porn stars.


White House Intern, Jordan Fisher will take over as head of the CDC later this month.

Trump Names Intern Who Helped Remove Computer Virus Head of CDC

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump has installed a new head of his COVID task force – a White House Intern that helped remove a computer virus from the President’s laptop.


Trump has been seen pressing his mouth and tongue to the White House windows on several occasions.

White House Staffer Fired for Telling Trump to Stop Licking Window

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House staffer has been fired for suggesting President Donald Trump stop licking and “doing blowfishes” on the White House windows.


President Donald Trump has been wearing a home-made sash constructed out of toilet paper, a paper crown from Burger King, and carrying a scepter fashioned from a toilet brush.

Trump Wearing Home-made Toilet Paper Sash, Crown

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has begun wearing a hand-made sash and a paper crown around the White House as well as some official events.


President Donald Trump passed a note to other world leaders that read "Will U go 2 war with me?"

Trump Passes Note to World Leaders Asking "Will U Go 2 War with Me?"

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump was seen passing notes stating “will u go 2 war with me?” to other world leaders during a recent global economic summit.


President Donald Trump required assistance after he stuck his tongue to a frozen metal pole in the White House rose garden.

Trump Gets Tongue Stuck to Frozen Metal Pole

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump required assistance this week after getting his tongue stuck to a metal pole in the White House rose garden.


President Donald Trump has promised Russian President Vladimir Putin Alaska will be returned to Russia.

Trump Announces Plan to Return Alaska to Russia

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump released a statement late last evening indicating that the United States of America will return ownership of Alaska to Russia.


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