Health Care Lobbyist Wishes for Christmas Miracle
Published November 2009BETHESDA, MD – Insurance lobbyist Larry Branagan is begging Congress to give him what he wants most for Christmas – no public health care option whatsoever under any new health care related legislation.
Crazytown Mayor Not Surprised by Health Care Outbursts
Published August 2009CRAZYTOWN, US – The Mayor of Crazytown, Captain Artimis Buckminster III, says the protesting that has accompanied recent health care reform town halls has been well within his expectations.
Obama Team Releases Health Care Plan
Published July 2009WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Barack Obama’s administration has released details on its proposal for overhauling the U.S. health care system. The plan, which would give nearly 90% of American’s free health care, is centered around reducing the number of Americans via free abortions and free assisted suicides.
FDA Allows Use of Roofies During Surgery
Published October 2007WASHINGTON, DC – The Federal Food and Drug Administration will begin allowing the use of the drug Flunitrazepam as an anesthetic during surgery. The drug, more commonly referred to as “roofie” will be given to patients hours before surgery, unknowingly, while out having a good time.
Beth Sinclair: This Year's Hot Spring Break Tips, Tricks
Published February 2005HOLLYWOOD, CA – Hey kiddies, Beth here and oh my, how the months have been coming quickly as of late. Just like me! I’m serious, if someone even touches me I pop like a Champaign bottle. But enough about my little foibles. It seems like just last month that I was freezing my tits off, trying to find a special someone to warm me up – inside and out. But now the snows have thawed and my young nubile mind has turned to other, more serious thoughts.