Jason Strooper has no joy or laughter in his life as he no longer finds Buzzfeed article funny.

Buzzfeed Article Proves Local Man Has No Joy in His Life

MISSOULA, MT – Thanks to a recent article on the click bait website BuzzFeed, Jason Strooper has realized that he may not have any more joy left in his life.


According to women, most single men remain single because they are dipshits.

Study: Most Chronically Single Men are Total Dipshits

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A new study from a team of researchers at Stanford University has found that a large majority of single men remain single because they are “dipshits.”


Zelenskyy Asks Taylor Swift for Help in War Against Russia

KYIV, UKRAINE – Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has formally requested military assistance from the world’s largest army – Taylor Swift’s Swifty Army.


The new Leanacaster guitar sits in the background ready for a video conference call.

Fender Releasing New Guitar Designed to Sit in the Background of Video Conference Calls

FULLERTON, CA – Guitar manufacturer Fender will be releasing a new line of guitars designed specifically to sit in the corner of a room during video conference calls.


Most members of Gen Z are not planning on having children because "fuck that".

Study: Gen Zers Do Not Want Children Because "Fuck That"

PITTSBURGH, PA – A new study out of the University of Pittsburgh shows that a large majority of Generation Z is not planning to have children because “fuck that.”


Florida textbooks will now state that the Civil War was fought between Pepsi lovers and Coca-Cola lovers.

New Florida Law Requires Textbooks to State Civil War Was Fought Over Cola Choice

TALLAHASSEE, FL – Florida lawmakers have passed a new law that requires all textbooks used by publicly funded schools to be changed to say the American Civil War was fought over the choice of cola drinks.


Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) has given the Writers Guild of America (WGA) a new list of demands in hopes of resolving the current strike.

Studios Give Hollywood Writers New List of Demands

LOS ANGELES, CA – As the writer’s strike in Hollywood continues, the studios have offered a new list of proposals as a path forward to finally ending the strike.


Taco Bell Adds New Menu Item El Wado

IRVINE, CA – Taco Bell will be rolling out a new menu item this month consisting of a handful of meat, cheese, and lettuce rolled into a ball. Taco Bell “chefs” are calling the new creation El Wado.


Local man James Beal hoped the new Zelda video game would complete his life, but it did not.

New Video Game Fails to Make Local Man's Life Complete

SALEM, OR – After almost five years of waiting, local man James Beal, 29, has announced that the new video game, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (TOTK), has not made his life complete.


A research team at Stanford University has found the gene that forces truck owners to back in to parking spots.

Scientists Identify Gene Responsible for Making Truck Owners Back into Parking Spots

STANFORD, CA – Researchers at Stanford University have identified the gene responsible for making Pickup Truck owners back in to parking spaces.


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