LOS ANGELES, CA – Summer is here and with it brand new fashion.

RAPID CITY, SD – During a press conference at the Ramada Inn and Suites, God clarified some misconceptions about his involvement in recent accidents and recoveries.

NEW YORK, NY – Toy Aficionado magazine has released its annual “Best toys” list to aide parents looking for the best and hottest toys this holiday season. The list features a number of new toys as well as a couple “old favorites.”

“This season is all about Star Wars,” said Toy Aficionado magazine Senior Editor Hal Sweera. “Star Wars has put its name on just about everything. And while the action figures and Lego sets may get a lot of attention, but the best Star War toy is actually the Rocks and Sticks set.”

PARKER, CO – Local high school football coach doesn’t like high school athlete Kyle McDavid for no apparent reason.

I’m here today to give you my picks for the best vacation spots here in the good ol’ US of A.

PORTLAND, OR – Writers for the popular website The Scoop News are in the process of writing a very self-congratulatory story to celebrate the paper’s 15th anniversary.

MENLO PARK, CA – Just a few short weeks after expanding the test field for its highly anticipated GoogleGlass, Google released details of its next big innovation – the upcoming cock ring including details, price and sale date.

FARGO, ND – Local man, Jesse Wright, is still listening to music by the band Linkin Park despite the fact that it is the year 2013.

TULSA, OK – For the second year in a row, 10-year-old Garrett Jacobs has ruined his family’s summer vacation.

WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to increase their social media presence and communicate their platform more efficiently to younger Americans, the Republican Party has started a program to teach its base how to use the internet.

“Republicans need to start tweeting and Facebooking and Yelping and they just need to start being online more. A lot more,” said Republican Strategist William Smithson.