President Donald Trump said we will reach out to Mordor in hopes of scheduling diplomatic talks.

Trump Scheduling Diplomatic Talks with Modor

WASHINGTON, DC – During a joint press conference with the President of Argentina, Mauricio Macri, President Trump said he would like to open negotiations with the fictional country of Mordor.
Although Mordor is a fictional land from the popular book series Lord of the Rings, Trump said that he would be reaching out to the country’s leader to set up some “face-to-face time.”


Eight Star Wars Rumors that are Probably True

ANAHEIM, CA – The Scoop News has gathered a number of Star Wars experts and identified eight The Force Awakens rumors that are likely to be probably true.


Local Man a Soccer Fan All of a Sudden

LOUISVILLE, KY – Even though he barely understands the rules and has seen only parts of five different games, local man Fred Neal considers himself a soccer fan.


Associated Press Releases News Article Templates

NEW YORK, NY – In order to expedite reporting in the internet age, the Associated Press has approved and released templates to be used for reoccurring stories.


Networks Unveil New Shows for Fall Television Season

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Over the last several weeks television networks have started rolling out their Fall schedule.


Republicans to Teach Base How to Use Internet

WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to increase their social media presence and communicate their platform more efficiently to younger Americans, the Republican Party has started a program to teach its base how to use the internet.

“Republicans need to start tweeting and Facebooking and Yelping and they just need to start being online more. A lot more,” said Republican Strategist William Smithson.


Entertainment Blogs Shut Down After Ranking Everything

NEW YORK, NY – Shortly after a list of MC Hammer’s 10 best songs that start with the letter ‘K’ was posted on a blog, all entertainment websites announced they would cease operations and shut down.


Internet 80% Porn, 15% Cats, 4% Mean Comments

CAMBRIDGE, MA – Research conducted at Massachusetts Institute of Technology has concluded that the internet is now 80% pornography, 15% cat videos/pictures and 4% poorly written comments.

“While most of our findings were pretty much exactly what we all thought they would be, the one thing that surprised us is that cat videos and pictures amounted for so little of the internet,” said Research Assistant Geraldine Westerly.


Gay Rights Group Wants Clearer Movie Titles

SAN FRANCISCO – A notable gay rights advocacy group, the Lesbian, Bi-Sexual and Gay Association, has sent a petition to major studios, asking for more accurate standards for naming films. The petition, which contains over 70,000 signatures, was conceived by a lesbian couple after they mistakenly rented the wrong movie.


New Abstinence Program Becoming Popular Among Teens, Parents

CHARLSETON, NC – All over the country, many schools and parent groups are turning to a new form of sex education called Abstinence in Hand. The program, which was developed by a Parent Teacher Organization group in Cleveland, Ohio stresses that the only way for a teenager to become fully abstinent is to masturbate at least five times a day.


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