AURORA – CA, Halfway through the Secret Santa gift exchange at the Peterson, Sloan and Dietz law firm’s annual Christmas party, a gift was given to Victoria Lane that thinly veiled the sexual desire of the giver. The gift, a Swiss Colony Beef-Log, a gift certificate to Fredrick’s of Hollywood and a 64oz bottle of KY Jelly was given to Lane by her coworker James Wazler.

After opening the gift and thanking Wazler, Lane returned to her cubicle to confer with some of her co-workers as to the meaning behind the gift.

“To be honest, I was a little creeped out,” said Lane. “I was hoping it was all in good fun but then I got back to my desk and started talking to people. Jerry said that he originally had my name for the person to buy gifts for but James had traded him names. Then Kerry said that James has some really weird photos of me at his desk. That’s when I started to think that maybe this gift meant something more than just a fun Secret Santa thing.”

Other office mates that participated in the gift exchange found Wazler’s gift unusual.

“Come on! A beef-log? Jesus, do you need a road map for that one?” said Office Manager Karol Raye. “I did think it a little generous of him though to give her a foot-long one. Come on, he’s white. So the max he is packing is seven. But seriously… What the fuck is he thinking? Everyone in that room knew the second she opened her shit that he wants to bang her. And I’m not talking bang her in the traditional way. KY? He wants to go downtown… to Brown-town, if you get me. He wants to take a cruise down the Hershey Highway. He wants to dig up some pirate gold. Seriously, he wants to fuck her up the butt.”

When confronted by other co-workers, Wazler was confused about the allegations.

“What? They think I wanna fuck her? What? That’s crazy,” Wazler said. “Look, it’s all completely harmless. I got her the beef log ‘cus I heard that she loved summer sausage. When someone loves something like that, the more the better, right? And the gift certificate? What woman doesn’t like to feel sexy? And what better way to feel sexy than to buy something sexy from Fredricks? The KY, that was for me, ‘cus when I fuck her sweet, juicy little ass, I’m gonna need it. Ya hear where I’m comin’ from?”

While Wazler defended his actions, the thought of the gift still makes Lane uncomfortable.

“I don’t know, I just can’t get over it,” Lane said. “The thing is, he is kinda cute, and normally I wouldn’t have any qualms about fucking him. But now, hell no! Now I’m going to take this KY and go get me a big cock that actually needs some lube.”