MADESTO, CA – With Halloween in just a few weeks away, retailers around the country have released their top 10 costumes of 2004. The list, compiled by 50 of the countries leading retailers, is said to be an “interesting look at the American culture.”
“Halloween costumes are just plain neat,” said John Southerland, President of Ideal Creations, a leading costume manufacturer. “And Halloween is just the best holiday there is. Seriously, when else can someone dress up like a Sexy Nurse or a Sexy Devil? Never. Unless of course you are a sexy nurse. Then I guess you’d get to dress up like that all the time. But unfortunately, most of us aren’t Sexy Nurses, so we only get to wear the costume once, or maybe twice a year. By the way, Ideal Creations ‘Sexy Nurse’ Costume is only $29.95 at a store near you. And if that’s not your boat, we have the ever popular pregnant nun. That one’s only 34.99.”
While monster and Super Hero costumes have been all the rage the last few years, Naked Man/Woman seems to be the costume of choice for this year’s discerning party goers.
“Yeah, this years big sellers were a real shock,” Southerland said. “I mean naked costumes always sell big, especially with fat people. I’m not sure what the correlation is, but it’s surely interesting. But our ‘Naked Man/Woman costumes are special. For only $49.59, you get the costume in mint condition that comes in its very own empty bag. But of course, there is the deluxe model that is only twenty dollars more and comes with a bowtie.”
Coming in at second place is a costume based on the real life of the late serial killer John Wayne Gacy.
“The Gacey costume came out of nowhere. I think it’s made by some guy in a Tennessee basement. We got a box of a couple last week and put them on the shelves. Within minutes they were gone,” said Mark Everett, owner of Willy’s Costume Shop in Valencia, California. “It’s not even Gacey in his Pogo the Clown get up. It’s just a fat, repressed homosexual costume. I think that the draw comes from what else you can do with fat, repressed homosexual costume. Add a suit and you got Willard Scott. And if you’re African American, BAM, Ruben Stoddard. It’s that easy.”
Other popular costumes this year include Talking Heads front man David Byrne, Pee Wee Herman, Little Miss Domestic Violence, a Flasher and Fat Baby with Both Nipples Pierced.
Despite the new, top sellers, there are several still planning on going with old stand by costumes that have been around for years.
“Me? I think I’m going to go as Spiderman,” said 27 year old Jason Todd. “I went to the store and bought one of them kiddy costumes for like 12 bucks. I think I can fit into it. It’s gonna be sweet. I bet that I’ll bang like 14 different chicks on Halloween, ‘cus seriously, chicks are all kinds of horny on Halloween. I don’t know why, but they are. And I plan on getting me a piece… or seven.”