VENTURA, CA – Friends and family of the TV star Cookie Monster held what they are referring to as “a successful intervention” last month in an effort to get Monster clean and free from his cookie addiction.

“We’ve been worried for years that his cookie addiction was getting out of hand,” said co-star and close friend Ernie. “I think at the end there he was up to like 10 to 12 boxes of cookies a day. A guy just can’t continue to do that and be a coherent person. Last time I saw him before the intervention he was totally fucked up on those thin mint cookies from the Girl Scouts. You know, (Girl Scouts) are just as much to blame for C.M.‘s problems as he is. Devils in a green skirt is what I call them.”

Shortly after the intervention, Monster checked himself into the Betty Ford clinic.

“I think it’s great that we were able to finally get him the help he needed,” Ernie said. “Call it a fond memory, or a nightmare, but I can remember this one time when I walked in on him at the tail end of a four day oatmeal raisin binge, banging a hooker. Man, there were crumbs everywhere. C.M. just looked at me, puked all over this hooker and then continued railing her. Man, as much as I want to forget it, I don’t think that image will ever leave my mind.”

Monster’s addiction began in the early 70s, and at its peak was costing the star upwards of $3,000 a day. While many of his co-stars and friends suspected there was a problem, Monster was able to hide his addiction from his fans.

“Man, those were some bad days,” Cookie Monster said from his room at the Betty Ford clinic. “Just to get up in the morning, I would need three or four White Chocolate Macadamia Nut’s. And that was just to get outta bed. Then there was the fixes I needed to get through my shower. I know a shower doesn’t seem like a major ordeal, but when you have to scrub the feces outta this much fur, it can take a while.”

Producers of Sesame Street are being supportive, giving Monster all the time he needs to get healthy.

“We are committed to Cookie. He’s always been a part of the show and will always be a part of the show,” said Jane Watson, spokesman for PBS. “If this attempt at sobering up fails, then we will support another one. Though I do have to say that we will not go through the same issues we had with Bert. That guy was so out of control we had to finally kill him. But that’s a whole different ball game.”

Monster will complete his program at the Betty Ford Clinic in late August, at which point he will take a month with his family before returning to work and making children around the world laugh.

“I want to come back for the kids. I gotta say that I’m really stoked about getting off the dough. It’s been a monkey on my back for way too long man. Way too long. I’m just so tired. So tired,” said Monster. “And you know, if I don’t kick this, I don’t know if I’ll make it. It’s hard. So hard. If this fails, I’ll probably just give up for good. But yeah, I can’t wait to get back to the children.”