Construction Worker Gets Back At World Through Stop Sign
Published June 2007 0 Comments | Share:
Through the power of the stop sign, Glen Sanford can control traffic.
DOVER, CT – After suffering humiliation and disappointment through most of his life, construction worker Glen Sanford has been given a reprieve and granted almost limitless power. Recently hired as a Traffic Controller for a construction project, Sanford can now control traffic with a mere flick of the wrist.
With these new, god-like powers, Sanford can bend the rules of traffic at his whim and do so without fearing any repercussions.
“Many people see this as just another job, a way ta make a little money,” Sanford said. “But they don’t know. They don’t know the power that flowin’ through me now. I can do anything. I decide how people are. People will listen ta me or they will pay fo’ it. I am a god now.”
Sanford’s new traffic controlling powers were not a result of divine intervention but came when he was given a stop sign on his first day of work.
“I’d felt the power come ta me the second I’d picked up the sign,” Sanford said. “It was like a premonition. I turned right around and made a damned truck stop, right in front a me. That there stop sign is magical ‘cus when I hold it I can make cars do what ever I want. I heard about shit like this here sign when I was down in Kentucky but I wasn’t thinkin’ it was the truth. Now I’m a believer. God wants me ta punish people for him, that I know.”
On the job less than a week, Sanford has already used the power of the stop sign to his advantage and to get back at those he feels have done him wrong.
“There was this one guy that thought he was better ‘n me,” Sanford said. “He was just sitting there in his fancy car. Wearin’ his fancy suit. I made that fella’ sit there in his car for 40 minutes. He was yellin’ at me, saying that he was a doctor and that he needed ta get ta the hospital for an ‘emergency.’ I called him on his bullshit. He ain’t gonna give me the dirty eye again, I can tell ya that. He’s lucky I didn’t make a trailer truck run over his tiny lil’ car. I could have ya know.”
Commuters have begun to complain about the perceived “abuse of power” Sanford is demonstrating but foremen for the construction job are standing by him.
“Look, we know he’s taking this a little more seriously than he should, but the fact is, power can corrupt a person,” said Neidermyer Construction Manager, Scott Emry. “He’s getting the job done so we are in no position to do anything about it. Not that we would anyways. Screw all those rich people. They can wait a couple minutes for my trucks to get through. No, they will wait for my trucks to get through.”
Employees of businesses within the area are voicing their complaints against Sanford and are scheduled to speak at an upcoming city council meeting.
“It’s completely ridiculous,” said Adam Messier, who owns a video store near the construction site. “(Sanford) will just arbitrarily stop cars, even when there is nothing happening. One time he stopped me for 20 minutes and no work truck or other machine was in sight. I complained after about 10 minutes, and I’m sure you can guess how that went over. This guy is a nut. A nut with a very dangerous piece of hardware. At the city council meeting I intend to propose that guy gets his stop sign removed and he gets thrown in jail. I will not be inconvenienced by some… guy with a stupid sign.”
Despite the complaints, Sanford says is committed to the job and that he has plans for people who have to pass through his area.
“I know in my heart that this power came down from God hisself, and if you think I’ma give it up, you’re crazy,” Sandford said. “I’ve found my calling. The business people are bad people. God told me so. I’m gonna make them pay. I’m gonna make them all pay. I’m gonna listen to god as he tells me with every car, whether or not to let them through. (God will) tell me if a person is a good one or a bad one. That video guy will never get to work again.”
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