Local Man Realizes He Is A Total Douche Bag

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ALLENTOWN, PA – Shortly after checking a website his friends suggested, local man, Ryan “Big Red” Centorelli, realized he is a douche bag.

“I was just sitting there, looking at the photos on that website, I just realized, that I was just like the douche bags on the site,” said Centorelli. “It hit me hard. Real hard. You live your whole life one way only to realize that you wasted everything, and you’re a douche bag. It sucks, man. Here I thought I was cool, and in control but I’m really not. Stupid hat turned sideways. That’s where it all started.”

The website Centorelli viewed during the revelation was LookAtTheseDumbDoucheBags.com, a popular website that allows users to post photos of douche bags.

“As I was looking at those pictures I realized that all of the douche bags on that site looked pretty much the same,” Centorelli said. “I’m sure you can imagine my horror when I realized that I looked like all the guys in the pictures. The gel’d hair. The long-sleeve, button up shirt not tucked in to the slightly-baggy pants. Yankees hat. The white sneakers. The chains. Shit, man! My whole wardrobe was on there. Even the mesh shirt.”

All of the pictures on LookAtTheseDumbDoucheBags.com are submitted by the sites readers and the administrators of the site do not overly censor the photos.

“Of course we’ll edit the pictures if some douche bag’s junk is hanging out, but other than that we don’t touch (the pictures),” said Rich Grayson, owner and operator of LookAtTheseDumbDoucheBags.com. “If someone out there has a picture of some douche bag guy, we’ll post it for the world to see. We see this as a form of community service. Everyone out there knows these douche bags, yet no one does anything about them. That’s where we come in.”

Centorelli has already started to make changes to his life in order to separate himself from the douche bag label.

“The first thing I did was to go out and buy a whole different wardrobe,” said Centorelli. “But I know that the douche bagness doesn’t just come from the clothes. I’ve stopped trying to impress chicks at the gym by flexing. I’ve stopped listening to Linkin Park. And I’ve stopped walking with a slight limp. I know I have a long way to go but I’m committed to this. I don’t want to be a douche bag anymore.”

Grayson says he is inspired by Centorelli’s revelation and commitment to changing his lifestyle and hopes that others will follow suit.

“If I can help rid this world of even a single douche bag, I know that I will have made a difference,” said Grayson. “Every woman in this country will owe me for each douche I help pull out of the system.”

Grayson and two college friends started the website in the summer of 2006 after losing a girl to what they considered a “douche bag.”

“I was in this bar and this complete douche comes up to the girl that I’m talking to and totally cock blocked me,” Grayson. “So what did I do? I took his picture and put it online. Within a week I had gotten over a 100,000 hits and I even ended up hooking up with that chick. Of course the douche bag gave her crabs, who in turn gave them to me, but that was a small price to pay for the smiting of a douche.”

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