New York City, NY – Consumer Reports has once again published its yearly list detailing the hottest toys for the upcoming Holiday season. Retailers across the country are expecting to stock up on the highlighted toys in order to satisfy the high demand.

This year’s list consists of several brand new toys as well as a couple older, more classic toys.

Toy industry insiders are urging parents to purchase the hot listed toys as soon as possible before the toys become scarce and prices on the black market increase.

“Don’t kid yourself. You won’t find these toys on the black market at reasonable prices,” said Hasbro Director of Marketing Murray Oakerville. “Get out there right now and buy the toys. The black market may be a great place to by prescription drugs, designer purses and organs, but it’s no place to pick up Christmas gifts for your children.”

Consumer reports listed the following among the toys that every child in the country will be clamoring for even though they don’t deserve them. A full list of this year’s hottest toys is available on the Consumer Reports website.

My First Enlistment Kit
All kids love to play army, so why not get them started early? My First Enlistment Kit, aimed at children from age three to five, comes with everything a your little soldier will need to survive today’s hectic battlegrounds: military identification, an M-16 rifle, hunting knife, a pack of smokes and a thin layer of body armor. With the purchase of this toy each child will automatically be enlisted into the United States Armed Forces when they turn 18.

Hot Malibu Nights board game
Enjoy the hottest game, literally, to come out in years. Guide playing pieces, all of which are matches, around the playing board setting fires as you make your way to the winner’s circle. Earn points for torching the homes of celebrities and wildlife preserves. But watch out the mean old “Gov’na” as he sends in wave after wave of fire men to stop your fun.

Rehab Rhonda fashion doll
Marketed as Barbie’s coke-head cousin, Rehab Rhonda comes with all the things that a coked out starlet needs including designer dresses, a bottle of “Morning After Pills,” shopping bags and balloons of “candy.” To complete the set one can also pick up Rehab Rhonda’s smashed up BMW. *Note: Mattel, makers of Rehab Rhonda, would like to stress that their doll in no way resembles either Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan.

Senator Craig Action Bathroom Playset
Now children can relive one of the most exciting adventures of the year with the Senator Craig Action Bathroom Playset. Full of tiny stalls, lose papers on the ground, glory holes and lurking undercover police officers, this playset offers hours of fun for all ages. This toy also comes with an exclusive Senator Craig figure with wide stance action.

Fat Slob: The Video Game
Worried that your kids are getting into trouble when they are outside and away from home? Pick up the new Fat Slob: The Video Game and put those fears on the couch where they belong. The game lets children of all ages live life through an obese character as they try to gain weight, watch TV and collect unemployment.

POGS
They’re back and they are as fun as ever. Your child will spend hours tossing, stacking and… um, moving around POGS. Famous cartoon characters like the Care Bears, Mr. T and JaberJaw adorn the POGS making them irresistible to children. Collect them all.