Local Internet Video Stars Really Wants To Direct

Dexter Mourn's directorial debut, "Jamaican Me Crazy," is currently in production .
Dexter Mourn's directorial debut, "Jamaican Me Crazy," is currently in production .

SAN BERNIDINO, CA – The star of a wildly popular viral video, Dexter Mourn says that while he is happy with his recent success as an internet star, he would really like to turn his attention to directing.

Mourn is the star of the video “Man Gets Dick Stuck in VCR” in which he gets his penis stuck in a video cassette recorder. After a friend of Mourn’s posted the video on YouTube, the video was viewed over two million times in less than a month, making Mourn an instant celebrity.

“I was all like totally shocked when (‘Man Gets Dick Stuck in VCR’) blew up,” Mourn said. “I mean I was trying to bust a nut ‘cus nothing was feelin’ right. Yeah, so I can only cum by fuckin’ inanimate objects, sue me. Anyways, I was a little horny and my friend Pete had a video camera. The rest, well, the rest I guess is history.”

While Mourn’s more recent attempts to capture some of the same magic and success of “Man Gets Dick Stuck in VCR” have failed, Mourn says it’s time for him to expand his repertoire to include directing. He already has a project lined up that he is hoping to shoot as early as this Summer.

“You know, it’s not somethin’ big but I think it’s the right fit for me,” Mourn said. “It’s called ‘Jamaican Me Crazy,’ and I think it’s gonna be right. You know what I’m sayin’? I don’t want to tell ya’ll too much, but it involves a kid lip-syncing to a reggae song. That shit is gonna be tits. I think the political climate is totally right for somethin’ like this, so I’m just gonna run with it, hope I gets a home run my first time up to bat.”

Mourn, a high school dropout, says he’s wanted to direct ever since seeing a Biography Channel special on Steven Spielberg.

“Directing has been a dream of mine for, literally, months,” Mourn said. “I was watchin’ that biography and I got ta thinking, I’m just like (Spielberg). The only major difference is that he got his big break with ‘The Sugarland Express’ and I got mine fuckin’ a VCR. It’s like we are runnin’ the same lives. It’s kind of creepy when you think about it. And I thinks about it a lot.”

In order to make sure he can devote the necessary time and energy to his directing, Mourn has recently quit his job as a manager of a grocery store and left his wife and only child.

“You know, good for him,” said Mourn’s wife Drew. “To be honest, I’m really don’t like him much no more. His little ‘kink’ was cute at first, but it got old after a while. I wish him all the luck though, ‘cus I want a huge alimony check. Oh, and I’ve been doin’ his best friend.”

Mourn plans to begin shooting “Jamaican Me Crazy” in mid January and hopes to have it premiere by the end of the month.

“The shoot is going to be pretty loose, ‘cus to be honest, I have no idea what I’m doin’,” Mourn said. “I just want to go out there, have fun, and make the best fuckin’ video that I can. I need this. No. The world needs this, and I’m just the man to do it.”


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