Summer Movie Preview

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It happens every year; summer. And we all know what summer brings, right. Well besides the sunburns, heat and unwanted pregnancies, summer is the key time of the year for movies. I, Beth, have vowed to see every movie this summer and with a little strength, I will prevail. While most of the movies set for release this summer look like shit, there are a few that I am totally excited about, and I hope that after reading this, you will all be as excited as I am.

The 7th Sense- Joel Schumacher takes over the directing duties from M. Night Shyamalan in the eagerly anticipated sequel to last years smash hit, The Sixth Sense. Hoping to do the same thing that he did with the Batman series, Schumacher is planning BIG things. Haley Joel Osment is set to return as Cole, the special little boy with special little powers. Taking the place of grizzled actor Bruce Willis will be none other than Harvey Fierstein. All I can say is forget about the line “I see dead people” and get ready for “I see gay people.” This one is sure to be a winner.

Take It To The Sky- An emotional movie based on the life of James Muldew, a retarded kid from the Bronx who is an outsider, even in his own home. Set in the early Thirties, the only thing for poor little Jimmy to do is dream. And dream he does. Run with Jimmy as he dreams of rescuing the cute little cripple girl from her burning house. Fly with Jimmy as he soars high above the clouds with his sidekick Superman. And get hot when Jimmy fantasies about Olga, the German immigrant who called him something in German that he couldn’t understand. Hell, even if it was in English he wouldn’t understand it, but that’s what makes this movie special. The kid who played Corkey on “Life Goes On” should get an Oscar nomination for his realistic performance as Jimmy.

I Hate This Fuckin’ Game- Sam Raimi and Kevin Costner team up again in this sequel of For Love of the Game. But don’t go into this movie thinks it’s going to be a touching love story, this sequel is a psychotic crime drama. Costner returns as Billy Chapel, and he has been out of baseball for three years. To make ends meet, he becomes a take-no-prisoner’s private dick. Hired by a beautiful young woman, Evelyn, played by Natalie Portman, the two are soon sucked into the dangerous world that is California’s water rights, which involves Evelyn’s father, crooked cops and incest! This movie promises more action than a three-dollar whore in Vegas.

Wheels Of Fortune- This movie looks to be the break out comedy of the year. Christopher Reeve makes his triumphant return to film as Harry, and down on his luck car salesman. One fateful day Harry meets Lando, an up and coming “stand-up” comic portrayed esthetically by none other than Stephen W. Hawking. Harry and Lando become quick friends but are soon caught up in the nasty world of Tai prostitution. I can’t even count the number of time I said to myself “How will they get out of this one?” Hawkings, believe it or not, is the straight man in this wonderful buddy comedy, uttering his lines with an unbelievable dead-pan style.

Double Fistin’- When I first saw the teaser preview for this movie, I thought to myself, how can Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen possibly pull off a big budget action flick? Well, I can tell ya, this one is a sure fire blockbuster. The puckish twins team up with ultra fighting master Sammo Hung for some hot threesome action. When the camera is on these three, watch out, cause things are gonna get sticky in a hurry! When a group of armed thugs takes over the mattress store where the group was shopping, things get heavy in a hurry. Little does the gang know that they’ve captured three people who take a licking, but keep on ticking. The chemistry between the two supple twins and and the overweight, but still ass kickin’ Hung is great, you’d really think that he was their father. Personally, I can’t wait to catch this one again, it’s that hot!

Sons Of Liberty- It’s about time someone had the balls to make this movie. Sons tells the story of Cornelius, a young gay man in Revolutionary times. He is cocky and headstrong, going against the wishes of his father by not going the fight against the nasty Red Coats. Cornelius’ only wish is to bring civility to this soon be great nation, his dream is to bring the world of dance to the solders. Shunned by the American forces, Cornelius soon jumps ship and is welcomed with open arms to the surprisingly gentle British army. After several long, hard months, Cornelius soon sees the error of his ways and becomes the US’s man inside, their “Deep Throat” if you will. This story will touch you in all the right places, and leave a warm feeling deep within you bowels.

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