Democrat Updates Blog to Protest Government

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BROOKLYN, NY – A local Democrat has become so angry with the government that she is taking a strong stand by updating her blog. Actions by President Obama and Congress have driven Rochelle Avery to update her blog 17 times in the last three months.

“I’m just so… so… mad at like everything!” said Avery. “I can barely watch the news anymore. I thought (President) Obama was going to come in and everything would be better but it’s not! It’s all the same! I’m so… god damned pissed off that I knew that I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing so I updated my blog. I did it a bunch of times. That’s how mad I am! I’m not the type of person that won’t let shit like this slip past without notice. I take action. I get mad and when I can’t take anymore I take action. My readers know exactly what I mean.”

Avery typically updates her blog once a month on average but due to her recent anger over the actions of the government, Avery has sacrificed many more hours to complain about the direction the country is taking.

“I’ve logged nearly ten hours over the last couple months updating and responding to comments on other blogs,” said Avery. “Do you know how much time that is? In blog time, that’s like… 40 years. It’s exhausting. Most times, after I make a post, I’m so worked up that I just have to take a break and smoke my hookah and have a couple glasses of wine to cool down. But inevitably, something else will come along and piss me off, so it’s back to the grindstone for me. It’s really, really hard but I’m not just doing this for me. I’m doing this for America.”

Blogging, or complaining online, is the most common tool used by Democrats to protest.

“When you think about it, Democrats are really a bunch of pussies,” said Chairman of the Democratic National Committee, Gov. Tim Kaine. “When it comes to taking action, we’d rather go hiking or go eat sushi and make sarcastic comments the whole time. If we didn’t have blogs to vent our frustrations, no one would know that we were mad. Well, I suppose all the sushi chefs out there would know, because we would bitch to them incessantly.”

Like many Democrats, Avery has become frustrated with the government since the last election in which the Republicans took control of the House of Representatives.

“Losing the House was really the last straw,” Avery said. “That night, as I watched seat after seat fall to the Evil Empire, I vowed that I would not keep my silence about the travesties that were in front of me. And we thought it was tough to get things done before? Now it’s ridiculous. Those dumb-hick Republicans out there elected shills for every major polluter and evil corporate empire out there! A fellow Democrat told me that he heard that some Russian mobster paid $4 billion to get Rand Paul elected. Maybe the mobster was from China. I don’t remember. But can you believe that? How can that happen in America? Stupid redneck illiterates that don’t ever look into what they’re being fed… it makes me so god damned mad!”

Avery is also upset with the lack of progress on many issues that she and some of her fellow Democrats wanted to see accomplished by the Obama administration.

“Like everyone else out there, I was wooed by the promise of change,” Avery said. “But when you look at it, what has changed aside from (the Democrats) losing control of the House? Nothing. Sure (Obama) has done a lot of really good things that people don’t really talk about, but what about real change? Where’s our public option for health care? What about flying cars? Why don’t we have those yet? Why haven’t the Cubs won the World Series yet? Obama is from Illinois, he should be all over the Cubs. But he’s not. That’s why I’m pissed. Maybe if (Obama) had some balls, he would actually get things done. Maybe if he was an angry black guy like Samuel L. Jackson, people would listen to him more. But no, he’s more like Wayne Brady.”

Avery has vowed to continue protesting through her blog until she sees movement on a handful of issues that she holds dear.

“I am going to keep at it, that’s what I am going to do,” said Avery. “Someone has to. The world isn’t going to change by itself and if I don’t blog about it then I might as well do nothing.”


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