Travel Agencies Offering Vacations from Facebook

Travel Agencies have begun offering customers vacations from Facebook.
Travel Agencies have begun offering customers vacations from Facebook.

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Travel agencies in the Philadelphia metropolitan area have begun offering Facebook vacation packages that give customers the opportunity to experience new and exciting things while still at home but not connected to Facebook in any way.

“Over the last couple years we’ve heard a lot of customers mention how they wish they could just take a vacation away from Facebook,” said Fly Me Away travel agent Gloria Lagger. “Literally. People would litterally walk in here and say ‘gosh, I wish I could go on vacation from Facebook!’ and we’d all laugh and call those people names, you know, thinking that it was impossible because why would even do that? But then we started to think maybe you could do that. You know, just get away from Facebook for a couple days. So that’s what we started doing. And then other agencies started doing it and now it’s a whole big thing.”

Some of the features of Fly Me Away’s Facebook vacation include a week at home, an internet disabler service, a cell phone made in 2001, coupons to Outback Steakhouse, and 20 DVD movies. The package sells for $790.

“What we do is we send a guy to your house and this guy acts as an ‘Internet Disabler,’” said Lagger. “What he does is he stays in your house and watches you and if you try to get on Facebook he puts his penis in your mouth. You’d be surprised at how successful of a deterrent that is! And since you have desire to get on Facebook whatsoever, you can enjoy the movies and one of those wonderful bloomin’ onion things at Outback Steakhouse. We even switch out your phone so you can’t get sneaky and try to get to Facebook on your smart phone. We’ve literally thought of everything.”

Another local travel agency, Tripping Hard, offers several packages that range in price.

“We saw what (Fly Me Away) were doing and we thought to ourselves ‘Hey, we can do a lot better than that.’ So we did,” said Tripping Hard CEO Roger Willis. “Not only do we offer all the things that (Fly Me Away) offer, but we upped the ante. We offer our to disfigure one member of the vacationing party. What better way to get your mind off of what’s going on on Facebook than worrying about which one of you is going to get their pinky tow cut off? It’s the perfect solution. Aside from that, it could also give you some great pics and stories to post to Facebook when your vacation is over.”

Customers have been signing up for the Facebook vacations for a variety of reasons but one reason commonly reported is a feeling of “too much god damned drama on (Facebook).”

“My sister and I went on a Facebook vacation last week and it was great!” said Chantelle Treum. “We paid $1090 and it was a bargain! We stayed home, read books, ate at the most amazing pasta at Olive Garden and really just had no idea what was happening on Facebook. Of course after we got back from the vacation we had to spend several hours getting all caught up but it was worth it! Totally worth it. We will probably do it again in the Spring.”

The demand for Facebook vacation packages has been high and industry experts expect the trend to continue for the foreseeable future.

“Well, seeing as how Facebook will be around forever and seeing as how people will always post pictures of their food on Facebook, this type of vacation will be needed by a large number of people forever,” said travel agency expert Derek Verts. “Nothing will ever happen to Facebook’s popularity so everyone should invest in this type of vacation.”

Travel Agents like Lagger are just happy to be providing a new and hopefully helpful vacation to customers.

“Pretty much all of the posts on Facebook are pointless and people just get really sick of them after several years of checking it every 20 minutes,” Lagger said. “If (a Facebook post is) not a link trying to guilt trip people into ‘Likes,’ it’s a corny saying that someone made up, or it’s a post about how someone did on Marvel’s Avengers Alliance or a Republican talking out of their ass about how Obama is ruining our country. That wears on people after a while. We offer people who have hit their limit on bullshit a way out.”


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