Local Man Won’t Stop Talking About “Doctor Who”

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AUSTIN, TX – Local man Justin Neeley will not stop talking about the television show “Doctor Who” despite the fact his friends and family are no longer willing to listen to him.

“We all understand that (Neeley) likes (‘Doctor Who’) but seriously, he needs to shut up about it,” said Neeley’s sister Ellie Redmond. “Not every single pause in conversation has to be interupted with him brining up some dumb ‘Doctor Who’ thing. Last week he mentioned that he can’t wait for the new season every single time someone stopped talking. The dude is seriously obsessed. We all love Him we just wish he’d shut up about ‘Doctor Who’. I mean it might be different if I’ve ever actually watched an episode of Doctor Who, but I haven’t because I’m not a nerd.”

Neeley acknowledges that he talks about the show often but doesn’t think there is a problem as “it’s just the best damn show on TV.”

“Have you watched it? I mean really watched it?” Neeley said. “If you haven’t you have no idea what you’re missing. I was probably like you. I had watched an episode or two here and there, but I was never really into it. But then I got gonorrhea and had to stay home from work for a few days and decided to give it a chance on Netflix. Holy shit, that was the best few days of my life. Well, I mean besides the gonorrhea. That sucked. But I even called up that skank Hillary Dawes who gave me the gonorrhea and thanked her for what she did. Of course I also yelled at her for giving me a fucked up disease, but still, my whole outlook on life has been changed because of her.”

Neeley began watching “Doctor Who” last summer and has since spent more than $3,000 on “Doctor Who” merchandise. Neeley is also saving for a trip to London in order to visit places featured on the show.

“Comic book nerds have the San Diego Comic Con, Jews have Mecca, now I have London,” Neeley said. “I know that it’s not as exotic as some of those other places but to me, there is nowhere else I want to go. To be able to see that big clock thing that the Slitheen ship crashed in to? It will really mean a lot to me.”

While Neeley has watched newer episodes more than three times each, he has not seen a single episode that aired prior to 2005.

“I’ll get to the older episodes at some point, but I’m still trying to wrap my head around all the stuff that’s happened lately,” Neeley said. “I want to be able to recall from memory any little nuance from every episode so that I can tell everyone about it and, you know, somewhat become a Time Lord myself. I know it’s not real, but if I do this, I’ll feel like I belong in their world.”

Friends of Neeley have pointed out that his current obsession with “Doctor Who” is just one of many obsessions Nelley has had in recent years.

“Remember ‘Lost’? He got way in to that show and let’s not forget his Harry Potter years,” said Neeley’s friend Ryan Sweeney. “The dude is just a nerd and gets huge fuckin’ bonners for dumb shit like that. Why can’t he just get in to football like a fuckin’ normal person?”


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