Man Will Take Down Christmas Lights When He Feels Like It


MODESTO, CA – Local Man Dennis Clarke has told his family, friends and neighbors that he’ll take down his fucking Christmas lights when he fucking feels like it.

“I’ll get to the fucking lights when I get to the fucking lights,” said Clarke. “”Everyone should just shut the fuck up. They are my fucking lights and they are on my fucking house and I’ll take them down when I fucking feel like it. If that’s not ok with the fucking Christmas lights police they can just go fuck themselves. I’ve got other shit to do.”

Clarke has been asked by several people why his home is still decorated in Christmas lights.

“Every fucking person I know keeps asking me to take down the lights,” said Clarke. “My fucking wife asks me. My fucking neighbors ask me. My fucking mailman asks me. Fuck them. I’ll take down those fucking lights when I fucking feel like it. And I got a fucking news flash for you… It ain’t fucking feeling like it today. You know what else, you better believe I’m not going to be fucking feeling like it tomorrow, either. So why don’t you all just get off my fucking back and give me some peace and fucking quiet?”

Although Clarke says he is under pressure from his family to take down the Christmas lights, his family members say they are not pressuring Clarke.

“I’ve asked him one time, and it was really just a simple question,” said Clarke’s wife Janice. “All I said was ‘honey, when you take down the Christmas lights, can you get the football that Alex threw onto the roof?.’ That’s it. I didn’t think that I was being accusatory but (Clarke) just went off the rails. I’ve never heard him say the F word before this.”

Clarke says there is no particular reason as to why the Christmas lights are still up and states that he has “just been busy.” He also says that he is sick of talking about it.

“What the fuck are you fucking thinking? That I’m just sitting here with my fucking thumb up my fucking ass? I’m fucking busy. I’ve got about 80 fucking presents to put together for my fucking kid, I’ve got about 1,000 fucking boxes to break down and put in the fucking recycling and I’ve got the fucking Sharks pissing down their fucking legs every night because they can’t find a fucking goalie that’s fucking worth a shit. Now get off my fucking back about the god damned fucking lights.”

Last year Clarke took his decoration down on Christmas day but this year the lights remain up, weeks after Christmas.


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