NEW YORK, NY – Following the success of the “Manning Cast” for NFL games, ESPN will be launching a new live commentary option for professional sporting events featuring drunk, racist uncles.
“Growing up, all of us had that one uncle that would come over to watch football games and get drunk and then start saying really awful things about minorities and women and… well, everything,” said ESPN Head of Programming, Darren Willpone. “We want to bring that back. We want to take our viewers back to those good old days where you were excited about the game but also scared of what your drunk uncle was going to say or do. That’s sports in a nutshell. You know the saying ‘On Any Given Sunday…?’ that’s what we’re shooting for here. On any given Sunday you never know what’s going to happen.”
During each broadcast of the new DRUncle Cast (Drunk, Racist Uncle), the “uncle” host will get progressively more intoxicated and “horrible.”
“Part of the experience of watching football with a drunk uncle is the fact that they get more and more drunk as the game goes on so the number of horrible things they say goes up,” said Willpone. “By the end of the game you are crying and your hope for humanity is gone and you are on the verge of an existential crisis because you are related to this awful person… that’s what you can get with our new DRUncle Cast.”
ESPN has identified several drunk, racist uncles for the DRUncle cast to provide “region specific” experiences for viewers.
“We’ve identified people from around the country that we believe will throw in some commentary that everyone within the region will understand,” said ESPN Talent Manager, Faye Wilson. “We decided to do this to offer the best scenario for every game because what one of our Uncles says in Arizona, might not be as relevant to our viewers in Florida. So, we wanted all of our viewers to have that same sense of uncomfortableness across the nation.”
The new DRUncle simulcast will debut this month with the NFL playoffs and continue through the Super Bowl.
“The Super Bowl is going to be challenging, but we’re confident that we’ll be able to pull off something special to go with the pageantry of the day,” said ESPN Super Bowl Director, Reese Fettler. “We’ve been combing Facebook and other social media platforms looking for individuals who check all of our boxes. Racist across the board. Sexist. Homophobic. You name it, we’re looking for individuals that cover it all. And when we find those individuals, we’ll get them under contract and on the air.”
Last year ESPN introduced the Manning Cast for select NFL games. The Manning cast featured brothers, and former NFL quarterbacks, Payton and Eli Manning, commentating live during an NFL game broadcast. The Manning Cast has proved to be popular and has lead ESPN to explore other simulcast ideas.
“We kind of hit the jackpot with the Manning Cast and we felt that we needed to exploit that formula as much as we could,” said Willpone. “We threw out so many ideas, but none of them felt nearly as complete as DRUncle Cast. We had Homo Cast, where we had some homosexuals commenting on the game. The trial on that was ok, but it basically just ended up a discussion of Tight Ends, both literally and figuratively. We’re not closing the door on that one, but I think we need to come up with a different approach. Another idea was the Bro Cast where a bunch of bros got together to talk about the game, but again, it just ended up in a discussion of Tight Ends. Now that I think about it everything we tried just ended up as a discussion about Tight Ends.”
If the DRUncle Cast proves popular ESPN parent company The Walt Disney Company say they have several more ideas for simulcasts across multiple platforms.
“We see this as an all-encompassing idea,” said Disney CEO, Bob Iger. “Think about the possibilities. We can have a Mom Cast for our Marvel shows where we have a Mom asking ‘who is that guy?’ throughout the show. Or maybe even a Baby Cast for our drama and suspense features where there is a Baby that starts screaming or crying at crucial points in the story. We’ve got ideas, that’s the bottom line. And you can expect to see those ideas if this DRUncle Cast works.”