NEW YORK, NY – Brooks Brothers has unveiled a new line of clothes designed for men who work from home but still want to present themselves as professional on video conference calls.
“It’s become quite clear that the future of work is working from home and we want to be there for our customers’ fashion needs,” said Max Powers, CEO of Brooks Brothers. “Over the last few years of these challenging times, the most common thing that we’ve heard from our customers is a desire to be comfortable while at the same time classy and respectable. Nothing sucks worse than having to get all dressed up in a full suit, just to walk out to your living room for a 45-minute call about budget irregularities. And no one wants to be wearing a three-piece suit while playing X-Box in-between meetings with HR about the way you talk to the girls in accounting. So we had to adapt to the changing world.”
Some of the new lines Brooks Brothers has released include pajamas onesies with dress shirt tops, clothes with a large pouch over the groin, and “professional looking” overshirts that can be put on and taken off quickly and easily.
“We realize anyone can wear a dress shirt with pajama bottoms, but people still want to look good and professional so that’s where we come in,” said Brooks Brothers Sales Manager, Franklin McKennon. “Think of it like a business mullet. Business up top, party down below.”
According to Brooks Brothers fashion designers, the new clothing will combine both the need for comfort and the need to appear professional while also accommodating work from home specific needs.
“It’s a new work world out there now and we have to meet the needs of our customers as those needs change,” said Brooks Brothers designer, Bryon Benddid. “People working from home have three priorities when it comes to clothes. Number one, be comfortable. Number two, the parts that show up on video need to look professional. Number three, there needs to be quick and easy access to genitals but also prevent exposing those genitals when on a video call. We’ve all seen the stories of people being in meetings and looking totally professional, but then they forget to turn their cameras off, stand up and bam – wang. Just hanging there for everyone to see. I know it’s happened to me once or seven times. With our new line though, you can get after your wang, and no one will be able to see.”
The new designs featuring the pouch over the groin will allow a “passthrough” that will allow the wearer to access their genitals directly while still covered by the pouch.
“Come on buddy. We all know that the work from homers are spanking it at least four to five times during the work day now. And no one wants to get caught chocking their chicken like that guy from CNN,” said Powers. “The new passthrough will offer our clients full access to their junk. Just reach through the ‘pockets’ and you are there. Hands of wang. Plus, there is some extra room there in case you need to spank it or if you just want to spin it around a little bit. Slap it back and forth. Whatever you need to do you can do it and still be covered up and looking professional on the video call.”
Brooks Brothers sales have been impacted by the shift in working from home as people opt for cheaper, more comfortable clothes instead of formal business attire.
“We know you can buy pajamas anywhere, but you know with Brooks Brothers that we are taking care of all of your needs,” said McKennon. “So please. Please buy clothes from us. My kids haven’t eaten a real meal in weeks.”