LOS ANGELES, CA –With inflation and corporate greed raising costs of most goods, putting together a Halloween costume on a budget is a high priority for many this year.
As a service to our readers, The Scoop News has reached out to several costume designers for a list of cheap, easy, fun, and scary Halloween costume ideas.
Critical Race Theory
“There is nothing, and I mean nothing that scares the shit out of white people like (Critical Race Theory),” said Design! Magazine editor, Mike Kabuto. “Creating a costume here is very, very simple because the people that are scared by CRT don’t really understand what it is so you can pretty much wear anything and just hang a sign around your neck that says ‘CRT’ and white people will scream and pull their children away from you as you walk past. You can easily make a sexy CRT by just like, I don’t know, wear just underwear or something. But you still have to have the sign that says CRT.”
“Everyone loves dressing up as their favorite TV or movie characters and who’s hotter right now than Michael Knight? Fucking no one, that’s who,” said Haute Halloween Editor-In-Chief, Louise Gonzales. “I don’t even have to tell you who that is because you already know. We all know. And the beauty is that all you need for this costume is jeans, a red shirt, and a black leather jacket. Bam! You’re Michael Knight. And since Michael Knight is sexy A F, you don’t need to worry about sexying up this costume idea.”
Adam Levine’s Penis
“Adam Levine’s penis is everywhere these days and people love dressing up as celebrities during Halloween – like a couple years ago when everyone just drew some shit on their face and said they were Post Malone,” said Fashion Correspondent for the New Yorker, Perry Nerf. “But this is a really easy costume to pull together. All you will need is an extra, extra large green shirt with red polka dots and an off-white, but not quite beige, feather boa and bright blue pants. The only hard bit will be capturing the weird bumps, but you can probably just stuff pillows or something randomly into the shirt and pants.”
“(Julie Pandalone) is a costume that not everyone will get but those that do get it will dig it,” said Gonzales. “For this costume you are gonna need a lime green pant suit and a pink purse. It’s really that simple. And let me tell you that when people see you out and about on Halloween, they are going to be so amazed. It’s like no one ever expects to see someone dressed as (Julie Pandalone). People are gonna freak the F out.”
“This costume is a little meta, you know, because, like… everyone is a podcaster, but you can still have fun with it,” said Hot Topic Designer, Justine Short. “Just, like, take your set up. Grab your headphones, your Zoomcaster, your Yeti mic and hit the parties. The best thing about this costume is that if you do it right, you can actually record a podcast while you’re out and about and then make that sweet, sweet cash from your Squarespace ads.”
“Everyone hates Cancelers so dressing up for one on Halloween, even as a satire, can backfire so be careful,” said Nerf. “And by careful, I mean don’t go to any famous person’s party or to a party with only straight white people. But if you do choose this costume you’ll need, well, you can wear pretty much anything. So, you know, just go out dressed as yourself. The key will be to have a shocked look on your face the entire time and your phone out with the Twitter app open. To get into character tell people Lizzo should be cancelled because she played some dead white guy’s flute.”