FRESNO, CA – The California Department of Health Services has located the farm responsible for producing the spinach with the deadly E. coli strain. The farm, which is located just outside of Fresno, is owned and operated by a man known simply as Bluto.
According to authorities, Bluto had purposely affected the spinach with E. coli in an attempt to “settle a score” with an old acquaintance.
“Apparently Bluto was looking for some revenge on an enemy from years ago,” said Edward Trert, California Department of Health Services spokesman. “I guess this guy named Popeye wronged him and Bluto was using the spinach to kill him. This Popeye guy allegedly eats almost nothing but spinach.”
It’s unclear at press time what charges, if any, Bluto will face.