MIAMI, FL – In an effort to increase revenues, CBS Television has announced that the seven-hour block of programming devoted to the Super Bowl will now be entirely commercials.
“We felt that this was the right direction to go,” said CBS President Cliff Montoya. “Nobody really cares about the game anymore, they only want to see the commercials. So we figured that we would actually forgo the game, and give the people what they want. Chicago or Indianapolis? Who cares? The real question is who’s going to have the best commercial.”
The move will mark the first year in Super Bowl history that the game has not been aired.
“Oh we’ll show some highlights of the game, but the concentration will be on the commercials,” Montoya said. “You know, if there is a touchdown or someone has a really great injury, we’ll break into the commercials to show that. But we might show it all in fast motion, so we can get back to the commercials quickly.”