LAS VEGAS, NV – A recent telethon has gone down in the record books as the worst telethon in the history of televised money drives. The telethon, benefiting the Don Ot Center for Lupus Research did not bring in a single penny during the two day telethon.
“Really, the only thing I can say is ‘wow’” said Martin West, director of the Center for Lupus research. “I mean, seriously, we didn’t get a fucking penny. That’s messed up. Lupus is a serious disease that affects many, many people, and we didn’t make a fucking cent. God I hate people.”
West credits the poor performance to the local phone company that assigned the toll free number to the event. The number, 1-836-668-2255 was promoted as 1- U DON OT CALL, or 1- U DO NOT CALL.
“Once we realized that the phone number was telling people not to call, we made announcement about the fix,” West said. “But by that time, we were just a joke, and I think that people didn’t call after that just to be funny. Seriously, this entire fucking state is retarded.”