BOSTON, MA – A party held to watch a NASCAR event ended after only 15 minutes when beer ran out and party goers realized the sport amounted to nothing more than driving in a circle.
“My buddy Jim (Watson) invited us all over to watch NASCAR,” said Gail Craig. “Jim’s from the South and a big NASCAR fan and most of us had never seen it so we decided to give it a watch. After like, five minutes I said ‘that’s it? That’s all they do?’ and since there wasn’t enough alcohol to get me drunk, I left.”
Of the party attendees, only one had ever seen NASCAR previously.
“I saw (NASCAR) once but I didn’t realize what it was called,” said Jack DiMatto. “So then when it started I realized what it was and left. I’m not going to sit there for four hours watching that shit. The fact that it’s called a sport blows my mind. My dog can run around in circles and I don’t call him an athlete.”
None of the party attendees said they will ever watch NASCAR again because “it’s fucking boring.”