Hippies Can No Longer Achieve Ignorant Bliss


WOODSTOCK, NY – Local Hippies are no longer able to remain unaware of the current geopolitical climate and have begun to give up on peace.

This election year has highlighted all of the unhappy events of the century, causing unlikely tension in Rabbit Grove, a hippie commune just outside of Woodstock. The residents are unable to continue with their mantra of “All you need is love” and in fact many have stopped listening to The Beatles all together over the summer.

“It’s too hot even here at this latitude. I can’t even imagine how the polar bears are feeling,” said Tanila Footflower who was too choked up to complete her interview.

The residents of the off-the-grid-organic-vegan commune have stopped saying that world peace is possible and many of them are not commenting on the subject at all.

“It’s like we all know that peace is possible and we all know that people care about Mother (Earth) and we all feel it in our bones but then some of us have these little radios and we heard about what was going on at the UN Council meeting, like we know what they are talking about,” said a local hippie who asked to be identified as Gerri Pumpkin. “And we heard that kangaroos are dying in Australia and then we heard that we can’t stop these nuclear bombs from being built and well, frankly, we are all pretty concerned that no one, not one person out there, even wants to ’give peace a chance.’ And well you know what that means, don’t you?”

It is suspected that Gerri Pumpkin will no longer be able to play his guitar and braid his hair and sing.


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