PINE BLUFF, AR – Local man James Freeny made a New Year’s resolution that he never intended to keep.
At a New Year’s party earlier this month Freeny told friends that this year his resolution would be to get in shape. Freeny has since told his friends he will, in fact, not get in shape.
“Yeah I told everyone that this was gonna be the year that I got myself back in to shape but I ain’t gonna,” said Freeny. “Well, I was kinda gonna but then someone done said that I’d prolly haveta stop drinking so much beer. I ain’t gonna stop drinking so much beer so I guess I ain’t gonna be getting’ in shape. Besides, Obamacare.”
Freeny’s family doctor released a statement that said “if Freeny don’t stop drinkin’ so much and start exercisin’’ and eatin’ right, he is gonna die because he’s fat and unhealthy as hell. But who am I to tell him what to do.”