SAN LEANARDO, CA – Hoping to bring in new players, Microsoft, the company behind the popular Minecraft game are offering a promotion where Minecraft players can win the opportunity to work in an actual mine.

“I’ve been doing this shit for a long time,” said Microsoft Vice-President of Gaming Marketing, Leo Hendlers. “And because I’ve been doing this shit for a long time I know two things to be true. One, kids lose interest in shit real fuckin’ quick. And two, kids love free shit no matter what that free shit is. So to keep kids interested in this dumb fuckin’ Minecraft game we need to give them some free shit. And what kid wouldn’t want to win a free, all expenses paid trip to work in an actual mine for three to five years? I hope my kids win!”

All a Minecraft player has to do to be eligible to win is sign in to Minecraft during the month of March.