Beginning next season, every visible surface will be covered in ads.

NHL to Cover Every Available Surface in Advertisements

TORONTO, CANADA – The NHL announced that starting next year advertising will be added to every available spot on the ice, boards, and uniforms.


Researchers studying men's need to post thoughts online think they have found a clue to the origin of the behavior.

Researchers Identify Hormone Causing Men to Post Idiotic Thoughts Online

GAINESVILLE, FL – Researchers at the University of Florida say they have made a breakthrough in the search to understand why white men are compelled to post their thoughts online after they turn 18.


Mike Velenski spent much of his time at recent holiday parties explaining that he purchased his Tesla prior to learning Elon Musk is a dipshit.

Local Man Spends Holiday Parties Explaining When He Purchased His Tesla

SEATTLE, WA – A local Tesla owner, Mike Velenski, spent a large portion of recent holiday parties explaining to family and coworkers that he purchased the vehicle before finding out Elon Musk is a complete dipshit.


Dean Jeffries is planning on spending the entire office holiday party talking about the war between Israel and Hamas.

Coworker Ready To Talk About Israel-Hamas War at Office Holiday Party

LINCOLN, NE – Local man, Dean Jeffries, is looking forward to sharing his thoughts and views on the Israel-Hamas war with his coworkers at the upcoming office holiday party.


Santa Co. has announced that it will be laying off elves and reindeer as it looks to reduce it's workforce by 30%.

Santa Co. Announces Elf, Reindeer Layoffs

NORTH POLE – Santa Co. has announced that it will be laying off 30% of its workforce to reduce costs in the wake of rising labor and material costs.


The new Leanacaster guitar sits in the background ready for a video conference call.

Fender Releasing New Guitar Designed to Sit in the Background of Video Conference Calls

FULLERTON, CA – Guitar manufacturer Fender will be releasing a new line of guitars designed specifically to sit in the corner of a room during video conference calls.


Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) has given the Writers Guild of America (WGA) a new list of demands in hopes of resolving the current strike.

Studios Give Hollywood Writers New List of Demands

LOS ANGELES, CA – As the writer’s strike in Hollywood continues, the studios have offered a new list of proposals as a path forward to finally ending the strike.


Taco Bell Adds New Menu Item El Wado

IRVINE, CA – Taco Bell will be rolling out a new menu item this month consisting of a handful of meat, cheese, and lettuce rolled into a ball. Taco Bell “chefs” are calling the new creation El Wado.


A shirt made of crocs is one of this summer's hottest looks.

New Summer Fashion Tips for 2023

LOS ANGELES, CA – This summer’s fashion trends are beginning to hit store shelves and to help guide readers to make the best choices, The Scoop News has asked several leading fashion industry experts to weigh in on the hottest summer styles.


Colombia is opening a new ski resort that will allow tourists to both ski on and consume cocaine.

Colombia Opens Ski Resort Using Cocaine Instead of Snow

BOGOTA, COLOMBIA – In an effort to draw tourists to the country, Columbia will open it’s first ski resort featuring cocaine rather than snow.


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