New Survey: Most Kids Want to Be an NFT When They Grow Up
Published September 2021CHICAGO, IL – In a new survey of children ages five to 15, a majority of children said they wanted to be an NFT when they grow up.
Local Ventriloquist No Longer Invited to Parties
Published July 2021LAKEWOOD, CO – Local ventriloquist, Joshua Castellino, is no longer invited to parties due to refusal to leave his dummy, Winston, at home.
Teen Wants to Stay in Hotel Room Alone While Family Swims
Published May 2021CORPUS CHRISTI, TX – A teenager on vacation with his family announced that he will just stay in the room, alone, while the rest of the family goes to a hotel pool.
The Scoop News Summer Movie Preview
Published June 2021HOLLYWOOD, CA – As summer approaches and businesses begin reopening in full, people across the country are looking forward to heading out to their local movie theater to catch the newest summer blockbuster films.
Superman Taking a Break from Humanity
Published March 2021ANTARCTICA – Superman announced last week that he is “taking a break” from humanity and will spend the “foreseeable future” alone at his Fortress of Solitude.
Local Man Concerned by Thoughts of Purchasing Flip-Flops
Published March 2021CHICAGO, IL – Local software developer Andre Flutroe, 29, says he has become concerned about his increasing desire to purchase a pair of flip-flops sandals.
Biden Nominates Post Malone to New Cabinet Position Secretary of Yeet
Published December 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Elect Joe Biden has announced the nomination of Post Malone to a new cabinet position of Secretary of Yeet.
Trump Hiding from Staff in White House
Published December 2020WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the Presidential election, by a considerable margin, Donald Trump has begun hiding from staff in the White House in a desperate attempt to remain President.
Beth Sinclair: COVID-19 Thanksgiving Tips
Published October 2020Hello, hello, HELLOOOOOOOO! Oh. My. GOD. It has been forever! It is I, your bestest friend in all of the deep, dark web – Beth Sinclair!
Qanon Revealed to be Mountain Dew Marketing Campaign
Published October 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking Post-Election revelation, the source of the mysterious Qanon conspiracy theory has been revealed to be the marketing team for the soft drink Mountain Dew.