Last time we chatted, I told you all about Dumb-ass men but this time I'd like to tell you all about a different type of man - one that shows you his junk without any commitments on your part.
My favorite type of man - the Chippendale Dancer.
After a month of mopping around about Dumb-ass, Vicki needs a change.
Friends at work keep telling Vicki that she need to get out and get some fresh air. Take a break from stupid guys and just have a good ol' fashion girl's night out on the town. Little Miss Chrissie, Vicki's dearest friend, decides it's time, time to take matters into her own hands. Chrissie over hears on the radio that the Chippendales would be coming to the area.
Hmmm, Chrissie's mind started up. "Wouldn't this be fun if we could take Vicki down and get her mind of Dumb-ass" she thought. "And I just might enjoy it too."
For the uninitiated, the Chippendales are a bunch of really, really gorgeous men wearing little more than a piece of yarn. I've heard that they all stuff their shorts but you know what? Doesn't make a damn bit of difference 'cus I love them all.
Being the good friend that Chrissie is, she jumps right on to the computer to purchase the tickets. So excited, she surprises Vicki with the tickets. Vicki on the other hand, is so happy to have a friend like Chrissie (and with her emotions still running high from the Dumb-ass incident) that she starts to cry... though she's not sure if it's a happy cry or a sad.
Fortunately, Chrissie and Vicki have a co-worker who is a registered expert in all things Chippendale. She lets the two of them know where to sit, what to do to get their attention and what you can and can't do once you've got them in your lap. Personal experience she tells us.
A month of excitement passes slowly, as Vicki and Chrissie wait for the day to come.
Wednesday finally arives and George, another co-worker and also sharring in the excitement of the moment, decides to be a good pal and drive the dynamic duo down cuz, we all know that there are going to be drinks flying around that bar.
Oh did I mention, The Chippendales were performing in a bar. And we all know that you can't go into a bar and not have at least four drinks
come on. What kind to people do you think we are. Mormons? Anyway, back to the bedtime story.
They arrive! Shaking with excitement, the two hurry to get in line with a million other ladies. I'm talking a shit load of ladies, a mile long line of ladies. Chrissie and Vicki jump right in the line nervious as ever, because they have no idea what to expect. George decides that they need a least a couple of drinks before going inside. What a good friend. Being the two inocent gals Chrissie and Vicki are and not knowing what to drink George suprises them. Vicki can't remember the drink's name, but she does remember that it was good. So good that the girls downed two (or maybe four) more.
The line starts moving in and ladies are head straight for the good tables. Chrissie and Vicki get in just as the drinks start to do their thing.
The ladies decide to sit toward the back and take thier seat. The gals notice that just off to the left of thier table is a big-ass door. Assumptions are made about the door that didn't involve half naked men so the door is dismissed almost imdiately.
A couple (more) drinks later, lights start to dim, the music comes on... good lord here they come. Out of the door next to their talbe comes, not one, not two, but eight handsome gentleman.WOW! They all came out the door that Chrissie and Vicki dismissed as incidental. What a coincidence! UNBELIEVABLE, these handsome, gorgeous young guys! Flooding out of the door like a football team taking the field.
By this point Chrissie and Vicki are drunk and all inhibitions gone. The show continues and the memories get fuzzy after that. Things happen that were both wonderful and embarrassing. Things happen that should not be repeated in mixed company. Things happen that make Vicki forget all about dumb-ass. Things happen that make life grand.
To be honest, the rest of the night simply fades away after all that. I'm assuming I
oops, I mean Vicki, made it home but really, who cares about that part anyway?
Ladies, I'm telling you - if you have never gone to a Chippendales performance, you are missing out. I have never seen so much men
and all in one place! But then again remember I was married to a Dumb-ass.
Damn. That was a wonderful night. There is nothing that soothes the pain of life like seeing a crap-load of mostly naked studs parading around for your pleasure. Nothing really seems all that important after that, you know what I mean ladies?
Maybe you guys out there should take your wives or girlfriends to go see The Chippendale. Birthday, anniversary, first dates. I recommend Chippendales. YEAH! Why should you do that? Because for a short time (and I mean short) we'll let things slide. We won't really care what you did and when. We'll just be thinking about animal skin undies bouncing up and down.
Ladies, don't give up there is hope out there.... take it from me. I know!
Until next time, PEACE!
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