Santa Claus Will Not Accept Lists Containing Ivermectin
Published December 2021NORTH POLE – Santa Claus has announced that he will no longer accept children’s Christmas lists that contain Ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, or Z-pack.
Santa Claus Being Treated for COVID with Treatment Including Souls of Children
Published December 2020NORTH POLE – After testing positive for COVID-19, Santa Claus has been receiving a controversial new treatment that includes the souls of 450 children, among other ingredients, to help Claus recover from the deadly disease.
Melania Trump Extends Physical Distancing Within the White House to 100 Feet
Published April 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – First Lady Melania Trump is calling for expanded physical distancing, specifically within the White House, as the COVID-19 pandemic continues.
Local Man Struggling to Explain Why Vinyl Records are Better Than Digital Music
Published February 2020OMAHA, NB – A local man has spent the last several hours trying, with limited success, to explain to his friend why listening to music on a vinyl record is better than streaming online.
White House Staff Forget to Plug In Pence Before Long Weekend
Published December 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – Vice President Mike Pence has been sent to a maintenance shop after aides forgot to plug the Vice President in to a power source before the long holiday vacation.
Family Photo Ruined by Ugly Baby
Published November 2019DALLAS, TX – The Stevenson family Christmas photo was ruined by the presence of an ugly baby.
Trump Gives White House Staff His Christmas List Catalogs
Published December 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has given cabinet members and White House staff his “Christmas list” in the form of Sears catalogs with a number of circled items.
New Book Reveals "Real" Rudolph the Reindeer
Published December 2018NORTH POLE – Authors of a new book about Rudolph the “red-nosed reindeer” promise to change the way the Christmas icon is remembered.
Nice Gift at White Elephant Exchange Ruins Party
Published November 2018MEMPHIS, TN – An office Christmas party was ruined when an employee brought an expensive bottle of wine to a white elephant gift exchange.
Trump Approves New War on Christmas Monument
Published November 2018WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has approved the commission and construction of a new national monument to honor the lives lost in the War on Christmas.