Biden Removes Mask at Inauguration to Reveal Hillary ClintonPublished February 2021
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Joe Biden stunned the nation during last month’s inauguration ceremony by removing a mask revealing that Hillary Clinton had been disguised as Biden during the election.
Biden Nominates Post Malone to New Cabinet Position Secretary of YeetPublished December 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Elect Joe Biden has announced the nomination of Post Malone to a new cabinet position of Secretary of Yeet.
White, Suburban Woman Still Considering Excuses to Not Vote for BidenPublished September 2020
LANSING, MI – Local white, suburban, mother, Lisa Huller, is still considering several different excuses to not vote for the Democratic Presidential nominee Joe Biden.
Cleaning Crew Called to Clear Trump’s Boogers from DeskPublished September 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A specialized cleaning crew has been called in to the Oval Office after White House staff discovered a large number of boogers that President Trump had smeared underneath the Resolute desk.
Trump Scheduling Diplomatic Talks with ModorPublished August 2018
WASHINGTON, DC – During a joint press conference with the President of Argentina, Mauricio Macri, President Trump said he would like to open negotiations with the fictional country of Mordor.
Although Mordor is a fictional land from the popular book series Lord of the Rings, Trump said that he would be reaching out to the country’s leader to set up some “face-to-face time.”
Anderson Cooper 360 Host, Panelists Stuck in Infinite LoopPublished April 2018
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Panelists and the host of Anderson Cooper 360 on CNN are stuck in an infinite loop as show producers scramble to get the program back on track.
Man Sues for Invitation to 12-Year-Old Girl’s SleepoverPublished February 2018
OMAHA, NB – Local man Dean Waters, 27, is suing 10-year-old Lara Schriber for gender discrimination because Waters was not invited to Schriber’s “girls only” sleepover.
President Trump Staples Tie to Desk 63 Consecutive DaysPublished October 2017
WASHINGTON, D.C. – White House staffers were both surprised and shocked earlier this week when Trump managed to staple his tie to his desk for the 63rd consecutive day.
Polls: Your Mom Now Leading Clinton, TrumpPublished October 2016
WASHINGTON, D.C. – With only a few weeks until the Presidential election, the write-in candidate Your Mom has taken the lead in a series of recent polls.
“People are rejecting the two major party candidates at a rate we’ve never seen and because of that people are looking for other choices,” said former Democratic Party Chairman, Howard Dean. “Someone, who knows who, said that they’d just write ‘Your Mom’ on their ballot and people are really starting to agree with that.”
Voter Changes Minda after Watching YouTube VideoPublished September 2016
CHARLOTTE, NC – After viewing a viral video supporting Gary Johnson, local voter Travis Pickett says he will now vote for Johnson.