

New Meat Alternative Turkeys Hitting the Shelves for Thanksgiving.
Published October 2024DES MOINES, IA – Just in time for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, several new vegan turkey options have become available in grocery stores.

McDonald's Cuts Price of Food But Add New Fees
Published October 2024CHICAGO, IL – In response to complaints about high prices, McDonald’s announced plans to reduce the price of menu items but add new service fees.

New Texas Law Makes It Illegal to Remove Truck Nuts from Trucks
Published September 2024AUSTIN, TX – The Texas State Legislature has passed a new law making it illegal to remove truck nuts from a truck.

Sudan Looking Forward to Inevitable Delivery of Stanley Cups
Published March 2024KHARTOUM, SUDAN–The people of Sudan say they are looking forward to the pending influx of free Stanley cups as the popularity of the large travel cups has begun to subside in the United States of America.

CDC Reminds Americans COVID Still a Valid Excuse to Not Visit Family
Published November 2023WASHINGTON D.C., – Although severe cases and hospitalizations have decreased in recent months, scientists are the Center for Disease Control (CDC) say that COVID is still a valid excuse to not see relatives at Thanksgiving.

Zelenskyy Asks Taylor Swift for Help in War Against Russia
Published October 2023KYIV, UKRAINE – Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has formally requested military assistance from the world’s largest army – Taylor Swift’s Swifty Army.

Florida Changing State Motto to "White Place, White Time"
Published February 2023TALLAHASSEE, FL – Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has announced a change to Florida’s state motto. As of March 1, 2023, the new Florida state motto will be “White Place, White Time.”

Amazon Warehouse Workers to Get Extra Diaper as Holiday Bonus
Published November 2022BELLEVUE, WA – Amazon warehouse workers across the country will be receiving a special bonus this holiday season in the form of one extra adult diaper.

Hot, New Restaurant Only Serves Crusts Cut from Children’s Sandwiches
Published August 2022SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The Bay Area’s hottest new restaurant is making a name for itself in both menu and sustainability by offering only crusts cut from local children’s sandwiches.

Tucker Carlson Suggests Drinking Bull Semen to Increase Testosterone
Published May 2022NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.
