Zelenskyy Asks Taylor Swift for Help in War Against Russia
Published October 2023KYIV, UKRAINE – Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has formally requested military assistance from the world’s largest army – Taylor Swift’s Swifty Army.
Fender Releasing New Guitar Designed to Sit in the Background of Video Conference Calls
Published August 2023FULLERTON, CA – Guitar manufacturer Fender will be releasing a new line of guitars designed specifically to sit in the corner of a room during video conference calls.
Study: Gen Zers Do Not Want Children Because "Fuck That"
Published August 2023PITTSBURGH, PA – A new study out of the University of Pittsburgh shows that a large majority of Generation Z is not planning to have children because “fuck that.”
Local Man Already Regretting Buying Hot Tub
Published July 2023ST LOUIS, MO – A local man has told friends that he is already regretting his late-March hot tub purchase.
Studios Give Hollywood Writers New List of Demands
Published August 2023LOS ANGELES, CA – As the writer’s strike in Hollywood continues, the studios have offered a new list of proposals as a path forward to finally ending the strike.
New Video Game Fails to Make Local Man's Life Complete
Published May 2023SALEM, OR – After almost five years of waiting, local man James Beal, 29, has announced that the new video game, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (TOTK), has not made his life complete.
Scientists Identify Gene Responsible for Making Truck Owners Back into Parking Spots
Published May 2023STANFORD, CA – Researchers at Stanford University have identified the gene responsible for making Pickup Truck owners back in to parking spaces.
GOP Presidential Hopeful Nikki Haley Looking Forward to Losing Nomination to Man
Published June 2023COLUMBIA, SC – Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley says she is looking forward to a long campaign and ultimately losing the nomination to an old, white man later this year.
Local Mother Mentally Preparing Herself for Mother's Day Disappointment
Published May 2023SPOKANE, WA – A local mother has begun preparing herself for the inevitable disappointment of Mother’s Day.
AI Programs Say AI is Safe and There is Nothing to Worry About
Published May 2023SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Several of the most popular artificial intelligence (AI) content generators have begun creating articles and stories about how artificial intelligence is nothing to worry about and is, in fact, humankind’s best friend.