FRANKFORT, KY – The Kentucky Senate has passed a new bill making it illegal for trans women to give men erections.

TORONTO, CANADA – The NHL announced that starting next year advertising will be added to every available spot on the ice, boards, and uniforms.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – As the new year dawns, it’s time to look back on those we lost in 2023. The Scoop News has decided to honor some of The Scoop News Staff that passed away last year in brief memoriam.

ATLANTA, GA – It may seem as though Dean Jeffries in accounting is an open book but there are many things about Jeffries that many people do not know. To that end, The Scoop News has identified 10 things about Jeffries that people may find surprising.

MISSOULA, MT – Thanks to a recent article on the click bait website BuzzFeed, Jason Strooper has realized that he may not have any more joy left in his life.

PITTSBURGH, PA – A new study out of the University of Pittsburgh shows that a large majority of Generation Z is not planning to have children because “fuck that.”

STANFORD, CA – Researchers at Stanford University have identified the gene responsible for making Pickup Truck owners back in to parking spaces.

SPOKANE, WA – A local mother has begun preparing herself for the inevitable disappointment of Mother’s Day.

PHOENIX, AZ – A local man was saddened by the realization that he did not know, nor had heard of, any bands that are scheduled to play a local music festival.

BOGOTA, COLOMBIA – In an effort to draw tourists to the country, Columbia will open it’s first ski resort featuring cocaine rather than snow.