FLAGSTAFF, AZ– Northern Arizona University (NAU) has announced a new degree program which it hopes will attract new students – Meth Sommelier.

IRVINE, CA – Taco Bell will be rolling out a new menu item this month consisting of a handful of meat, cheese, and lettuce rolled into a ball. Taco Bell “chefs” are calling the new creation El Wado.

SEATTLE, WA – Google has announced a shift in strategy for the company’s Artificial Intelligence (AI) interface, relying on mothers instead of the internet to help inform AI decision making.

COLUMBUS, OH – The restaurant and sports bar chain Buffalo Wild Wings will be making a major change to all existing locations over the next six months, replacing all chairs and barstools with continuous flow toilets.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The Bay Area’s hottest new restaurant is making a name for itself in both menu and sustainability by offering only crusts cut from local children’s sandwiches.

AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Greg Abbott has signed a new law that makes it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable in any way.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Beginning this month, several prominent restaurant chains will begin serving children meals that come half-eaten.

LOUISVILLE, KY – Fast food chain KFC has announced plans to release a new beverage cup made from fried chicken.

VANCOUVER, BC – A tourist from Texas is testing a Canadian waiter’s patience and politeness.

WASHINGTON, DC – White House staff has removed all tinsel from White House Christmas decorations after President Donald Trump was seen pulling Tinsel off a Christmas tree and eating it.