God Admits Nation-wide Snow Storm a Result of Not Listening to Prayer Details
Published February 2019DENVER, CO – After recent snowstorms wreaked havoc in cities across the country, God has apologized saying he made the decision to create the winter storms after “half listening to some eight-year-old’s prayer.”
Trump Denies Eating Cookies Despite Crumbs, Chocolate on his Face
Published February 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump says that he did not steal cookies from the cookie jar and he refuses to acknowledge that he currently has crumbs all over his face and desk.
Experts Offer Up Ten Ways to be a Happier Person
Published September 2018DETROIT, MI – According to a recent report by the World Health Organization, most of the America’s population describes themselves as unhappy.
Teen Still Waiting for a View on His Fornite Video
Published May 2018GOLDEN, CO – A local teen has been waiting for several hours for his YouTube post to register a view.
Edward R. Murrow School Renamed to BuzzFeed
Published January 2018SPOKANE, WA – Washington State University announced last week that it will be renaming the Edward R. Murrow College of Communication to BuzzFeed College of Clickbaiting.
PTA President Denies Russian Interference in Election
Published March 2017ANN ARBOR, MI – The president of the Ann Arbor School District Parent Teacher Association is denying allegations that Russia influenced recent PTA elections.
Trump Refusing to His Release Permanent Record
Published August 2016NEW YORK, NY – Despite requests from the media and Democrat Party leaders, Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump is refusing to release his permanent school record.
Recent Discovery Proves Early Human Sucked at Art
Published May 2016SANTA FE, NM – Anthropologists are excited by recently discovered cave drawings that they say prove that the earliest inhabitants of North America were terrible artists.
Student Upset He Didn’t Get Chance to Riot
Published April 2016CHAPEL HILL, NC – Duke University student, Tyson Whitman, has expressed his disappointment and frustration that the Duke University basketball team failed to win the NCAA Basketball Championship, thus eliminating any chance Whitman had a participating an associated riot.
Duke University won the NCAA Basketball Championship in 2015, spurring Whitman to enroll at the university.
Local Kid Struggles to Explain Why Hanukkah is “Cool”
Published November 2015SAN JOSE, CA – Local Jewish boy James Kirkwood has been struggling to explain to his Christian friends why Hanukkah is better than Christmas.