New Video Game Fails to Make Local Man's Life CompletePublished May 2023
SALEM, OR – After almost five years of waiting, local man James Beal, 29, has announced that the new video game, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (TOTK), has not made his life complete.
Biden Announces I.O.U. Forgiveness ProgramPublished August 2022
WASHINGTON, DC – After the positive reactions to the Student Loan Debt cancelation, President Joe Biden announced a new plan to forgive up to $100 in I.O.U.s.
Decorators Offer Tips for Decorating Your New Bedroom in Your Parent’s BasementPublished May 2022
LOS ANGELES, CA – As thousands of students graduate college and move back in with their parents, redecorating tips for basement living spaces has become a popular social media trend.
Tucker Carlson Suggests Drinking Bull Semen to Increase TestosteronePublished May 2022
NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.
Teen Wants to Stay in Hotel Room Alone While Family SwimsPublished May 2021
CORPUS CHRISTI, TX – A teenager on vacation with his family announced that he will just stay in the room, alone, while the rest of the family goes to a hotel pool.
Cleaning Crew Called to Clear Trump’s Boogers from DeskPublished September 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A specialized cleaning crew has been called in to the Oval Office after White House staff discovered a large number of boogers that President Trump had smeared underneath the Resolute desk.
This Year’s Hottest Halloween CostumesPublished October 2019
Costa Mesa, CA – Halloween is coming at the end of the month and The Scoop News has reached out to several costume stores across the country to compile a list of this year’s best selling costumes.
U.S. Government Hosting Extensive Black Friday SalePublished October 2018
WASHINGTON, DC – The United States Government has announced a Black Friday sale where parts of the government will be available for purchase at sharply reduced prices.
Anderson Cooper 360 Host, Panelists Stuck in Infinite LoopPublished April 2018
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Panelists and the host of Anderson Cooper 360 on CNN are stuck in an infinite loop as show producers scramble to get the program back on track.
Local Man No Longer Feels Comfortable in His Man-CavePublished April 2017
SAN ANTONIO, TX – Local man Jared Waterton says that he is no longer comfortable in his football-themed man-cave.