
Trump Says He is Close to Finishing Sudoku Puzzle
Published July 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – After several months of working on the same Sudoku puzzle, President Trump stated that he is close to finishing the two-by-two puzzle.

Trump Denies Eating Cookies Despite Crumbs, Chocolate on his Face
Published February 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump says that he did not steal cookies from the cookie jar and he refuses to acknowledge that he currently has crumbs all over his face and desk.

Disney Releasing Alt-Right Edit of The Last Jedi
Published December 2017HOLLYWOOD, CA – Hoping to win back white, male Star Wars fans, Disney is releasing a new edit of The Last Jedi with all non-white, male characters removed.

Does this Panda Hold the Key to Faster-Than-Light Travel?
Published September 2017ATLANTA, GA – The internet has been going crazy with speculation that Ya Lun, a Giant Panda at the Atlanta Zoo, may hold the key to faster-than-light (FTL) space travel.
Are These Eight ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi Rumors’ True?
Published August 2017HOLLYWOOD, CA – The new installment of the Star Wars franchise, Episode VIII, ‘The Last Jedi,’ is still several months away from hitting theaters but rumors about the plot have started hitting the internet.

Local Man No Longer Feels Comfortable in His Man-Cave
Published April 2017SAN ANTONIO, TX – Local man Jared Waterton says that he is no longer comfortable in his football-themed man-cave.
California Institutes New Rules for Water Use
Published August 2015SACREMENTO, CA – As the drought continues, the state government of California has issued new laws and policies to conserve water and reduce strain on rivers and aquifers.
Next Year’s Top Five U.S. Vacation Spots
Published August 2014I’m here today to give you my picks for the best vacation spots here in the good ol’ US of A.

NSA Reports Databases Full of Selfies
Published January 2014WASHINGTON, DC – The National Security Agency has stopped collecting American’s data after completely filling over 10,000 servers with “selfies.”
“As of last week, the NSA is no longer able to collect data due to the very large number of selfies that currently reside on the servers,” said NSA Director, Shawn Nossen.
Jesus Christ Distancing Himself From Tim Tebow
Published April 2013NEW YORK, NY – As Tim Tebow’s NFL career looks to be in jeopardy, one time fan Jesus Christ has begun distancing himself from the football player.