Arden Bleamoe says he has a "sick" spring break vacation planned and definitely won't be going home to his parent's house and masturbating the entire time.

College Student Has "Sick" Spring Break Plans and Definitely Won't Be Going to his Parent's House

SPOKANE, WA – Gonzaga University freshman Arden Bleamoe told friends that he has “sick” spring break plans and he is definitely not going home to his parent’s house.


Local Man Pulls Life Support From Wife in Pinterest Coma

BISMARCK, ND – After months of debating, soul searching and consulting with family members, local man Dean Weebers has decided to pull his wife, who is in a Pinterest coma, of life support.


Travel Magazine Releases List of Top Spring Break Spots

NEW YORK CITY – The travel magazine, Destination Awesome, has released its list of the top five 2015 Spring Break destinations.


New Warning System Alerts Americans To Skank Level

WASINGTON, DC – The Department of Health and Human Services has issued a statement and simultaneously released a new warning system to track threats posed by skanks. The new system comes just weeks before the spring skank increase experienced annually in America’s warmer climates.


Beth Sinclair: This Year's Hot Spring Break Tips, Tricks

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Hey kiddies, Beth here and oh my, how the months have been coming quickly as of late. Just like me! I’m serious, if someone even touches me I pop like a Champaign bottle. But enough about my little foibles. It seems like just last month that I was freezing my tits off, trying to find a special someone to warm me up – inside and out. But now the snows have thawed and my young nubile mind has turned to other, more serious thoughts.


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