Florida Changing State Motto to "White Place, White Time"Published February 2023
TALLAHASSEE, FL – Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has announced a change to Florida’s state motto. As of March 1, 2023, the new Florida state motto will be “White Place, White Time.”
Experts Offer Tips for Cheap, Fun, and Scary Halloween CostumesPublished September 2022
LOS ANGELES, CA –With inflation and corporate greed raising costs of most goods, putting together a Halloween costume on a budget is a high priority for many this year.
Texas Law Makes It Illegal to Make a White Man UncomfortablePublished April 2022
AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Greg Abbott has signed a new law that makes it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable in any way.
Country Singer Considering Using N-word to Boost Album SalesPublished January 2022
NASHVILLE, TN – Country singer Glenn Coventry is considering posting a video of himself using the N-word to boost record sales for his new album.
White, Middle-aged Men Upset with Recent 500 Best Songs ListPublished October 2021
LOS ANGELES, CA – Middle-aged, white men across the country are expressing their anger with an entertainment magazine’s recent list of the 500 best songs of all time.
Super Bowl Halftime Event to Feature White People Doing Whatever They WantPublished January 2021
TAMPA, FL – The National Football League (NFL) announced the theme for this year’s Super Bowl halftime show will be “America” and will feature a large number of white people wandering around “doing whatever they want to do.”
Trump Hiding from Staff in White HousePublished December 2020
WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the Presidential election, by a considerable margin, Donald Trump has begun hiding from staff in the White House in a desperate attempt to remain President.
Qanon Revealed to be Mountain Dew Marketing CampaignPublished October 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking Post-Election revelation, the source of the mysterious Qanon conspiracy theory has been revealed to be the marketing team for the soft drink Mountain Dew.
White, Suburban Woman Still Considering Excuses to Not Vote for BidenPublished September 2020
LANSING, MI – Local white, suburban, mother, Lisa Huller, is still considering several different excuses to not vote for the Democratic Presidential nominee Joe Biden.
DNC Brainstorming Ideas to Get Voters to Pick DNC-Backed CandidatePublished February 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Democratic National Committee (DNC) leaders are scheduling urgent meetings to discuss how to get people to vote for candidates that the DNC wants them to vote for in the upcoming primaries instead of the candidates that the voter’s actually prefer.