EL CAJON, CA – The friends and family of Gary Kostisyn are almost unanimous in the feeling that Gary doesn’t get it. In a strongly worded letter from those that know him best, Kostisyn was warned to “get his shit together and figure it out.”

PALM BEACH, FL – Conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh has admitted that he can no longer remember why he hates Democrats, poor people and minorities.

WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the super majority in the Senate, Democrats have switched strategies for passing legislation. Democratic leaders are now going to start using reverse psychology to get the bills they deem important through the Senate and house.
“Realistically (reverse psychology) is going to be a pretty simple thing to implement,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.

COLUMBIA, SC – Manufacturers of a new foot-care product are hoping to revolutionize the Podiatric Medicine industry with the launch of the PediFile.

MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Despite expectations to the contrary, the recent purchase of an Apple iPhone has left Geoffrey Glocke’s life relatively unchanged.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Seconds after Linda Konstins beat computer solitaire on her flight from San Francisco to Boise, ID, she waited for congratulations from her fellow travelers but was disappointed when none came.

NEW YORK, NY – Retailers across the country are beginning to use extreme measures in order to get people shopping over the holiday season.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Five years ago the world became embroiled in a new war, one that has divided the world, especially the United States, along religious lines. That war is the War Against Christmas.
The war started simply enough – with one person trying to be considerate and another being a complete and total asshole.

CINCINNATI, OH – A Twitter outage has prevented local teen Dakota Lundstrom from communicating with her friends about her love of waffles.

LOS ANGELES, CA – A conversation with actor Erik Estrada left local man Michael Weary feeling much less satisfied than expected. The two met while Weary was a contest on a game show in which Estrada was a judge.