Published October 2021
NEW YORK, NY – Although the playoffs are still underway, Major League Baseball announced a rule change this week that will ensure the New York Yankees automatically make the playoffs.
Published September 2021
NEW YORK, NY – Amazon has released a statement assuring subscribers that the upcoming Lord of the Rings series will contain the amount of violence, nudity, and incest that fantasy television viewers have become accustomed to in recent years.
Published June 2021
The coworkers of Ben Magnerson still do not want to hear about Magnerson’s Dungeons and Dragons game.
Published March 2021
HOLLYWOOD, CA – After a successful campaign to convince HBO to release the “Snyder cut” of “Justice League,” fans have started a similar campaign for the release of the director’s cut of the Pornhub video “Step sister alseep on couch BBC surprise DVDA”.
Published October 2020
SEATTLE, WA – After months of trying, local Jazz enthusiast Dereck Shoemaker has been unable to convince his girlfriend that listening to jazz music is enjoyable.
Published May 2020
Published April 2020
LAKEWOOD, CO – Local woman, Jenny McDavid, has spent the last four hours rearranging her office to ensure attendees on a video conference think McDavid has her shit together.
Published February 2020
SAN ANTONIO, TX – Local woman, Vanessa Perez, told friends that no matter what she gets for Valentine’s Day, she “won’t do that thing” her husband wants her to do.
Published January 2020
KANSAS CITY, MO – Local woman Sandra Gow says that she isn’t sure she is “up for 2020.”
Published October 2019
PORTLAND, OR – The much anticipated and celebrated 800th story published by online satirical magazine The Scoop News, failed to make any positive impressions and left readers across the world concerned about the future of the newspaper.
Published August 2019
VANCOUVER, BC – A tourist from Texas is testing a Canadian waiter’s patience and politeness.
Published June 2019
MILWAUKEE, WI – A new study conducted by Jared Weisman, an IT employee at Modera Health Care Solutions, finds humans should only work two hours a day.
Published May 2019
LITTLE ROCK, AR – Nearly all passengers in a minivan headed towards the Atlantic coast have complained about the music selections made during the road trip.
Published April 2019
WILMINGTON, NC – Jesus Christ has apologized for a controversial tweet he made last month after an intense online backlash.
Published March 2019
SANTA FE, NM – A recent survey conducted by the University of New Mexico has discovered 75% of art labeled as “Native American Art” is made by white men with ponytails.
Published February 2019
BEAVERTON, OR – A regular at JavaTown café was saddened to learn that another regular customer is not gay.
Published January 2019
Published December 2018
NORTH POLE – Authors of a new book about Rudolph the “red-nosed reindeer” promise to change the way the Christmas icon is remembered.
Published November 2018
ATLANTA, GA – A large number of people are waiting to get a flu shot until after the Thanksgiving holiday in hopes that they will have an excuse to miss Thanksgiving dinner with their family.
Published October 2018
DALLAS, TX – A Teppanyaki chef at Texas Japan BBQ Emporium is struggling to perform while preparing food for a table of one.