LITTLE ROCK, AR – Nearly all passengers in a minivan headed towards the Atlantic coast have complained about the music selections made during the road trip.
“It’s car rules that the person in shotgun gets to control the music but Tyler (Ferguson) is doing a shit job,” said driver Hannah Dribbs. “He started off with every Imagine Dragons song and we were all like ‘ok, whatever’ but then, like, it’s only gotten worse. He played Maroon 5. Who listens to Maroon 5? Everyone is mad and we’ve been snapchatting about it but we might have to change the car rules because this is not acceptable. But we’ll need to see how many people like our grams about it before we do something drastic like that.”
Fergusson says his fellow travelers need to “chill” and “quit being Bs.”
“The music I’m playing is good so whatever,” said Fergusson. “If they want to listen to something different then they can get shotgun. But next up is Limp Bizkit’s Gold Cobra album. Remember that one? Yeah, it came out in 2011. It’s so good but no one ever listened to it because it came out in 2011, you know, like 11 years after Limp Bizkit was popular.”