New Dodge Caravan models will come with French Fries already installed under each car seat.

New Dodge Minivans Will Come with French Fries Already Underneath Seats

DETROIT, MI – Automobile manufacturer Dodge has announced an update to its popular Caravan minivan. Beginning this fall, all new Caravan minivans will come with a French Fry underneath each seat.

An old, white man has expressed nostalgia for a time when he didn't have to hate so many things.

Old, White Man Nostalgic for Time When He Only Had to Hate One Thing

BROOKHAVEN, GA – A local old, white man is feeling nostalgic for a time when he only had to hate one thing instead of almost everything.

Countries will compete in a new Olympic sport by keeping a balloon from touching the ground.

Summer Olympics Adds New Keep Balloon From Hitting the Floor Sport

PARIS, FRANCE – A new sport will be added to this year’s Summer Olympic games – Keep the Balloon Off the Floor, also known as “Balloon Bop.”

According to several vacation experts, Steve’s garage is a great place to spend some time this summer.

15 Amazing Places to Spend a Summer Vacation

LOS ANGELES, CA – As people across the country start planning their summer vacations, The Scoop News has reached out to travel industry experts for a list of this year’s top summer vacation destinations.

The NRA has sent cards to all high school graduates congratulating them on making it through school without getting shot and killed.

NRA Congratulates High School Grads Who Somehow Made It to Graduation Without Getting Killed

ALEXANDRIA, VA – The National Rifle Association has sent congratulation cards to all graduating, American high school students congratulating them for making it through school without falling victim to gun violence.

Broadcasters and sports writers have compared Caitlin Clark’s accomplishments to every single male athlete ever.

Woman’s Athletic Accomplishments Immediately Compared to Every Male Athlete’s Accomplishments

DES MOINES, IA – After a record-breaking collegiate career, woman’s college basketball player Caitlin Clark’s accomplishments have been compared to the accomplishments of every male athlete ever.

Sudan Looking Forward to Inevitable Delivery of Stanley Cups

KHARTOUM, SUDAN–The people of Sudan say they are looking forward to the pending influx of free Stanley cups as the popularity of the large travel cups has begun to subside in the United States of America.

A Republican Senate candidate uses GOPnlyFans to chat with donors.

Republicans Turn to GOPnlyFans to Raise Funds for Election

WASHINGTON, D.C. –Republicans running for seats in the Senate and House of Representatives have turned to a new website to help in fundraising efforts – GOPnlyFans.

Food companies will have until the end of the year to list the number of child souls used in making the item.

FDA to Require Companies to Declare if Food Contains Souls of Children

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a new rule that requires companies to add a statement on product packaging declaring if the souls of children were used in a product.

Sheryl Lekhonen turned a team building event to be all about her.

Coworker Makes Team Building Even All About Her

CHARLOTTE, NC – A company team building event that was intended to focus on staff unity and communication, quickly turned to be all about Accounts Receivable Accountant Sheryl Lekhonen.

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