Meta Developing VR World for Old, White People
Published September 2025 0 Comments | Share:
Meta's new Metaverse will be designed exclusively for old, white people.
MENLO PARK, CA – Meta has announced a change in the company’s virtual reality strategy which will shift focus to producing a virtual reality for and containing only old, white people.
“To keep with Meta’s core principles, we will be refocusing our efforts in the Virtual Reality space to a more… white-centric model,” said Meta Virtual Reality Division Lead Developer, Raymond Willis. “We feel this will give Meta the best opportunity for success and continued growth even though VR is so 2008.”
In recent years, Meta has struggled to find an audience for its existing Metaverse outside of simple games for children like Roblox.
“Right now, most of the people in Metaverse are children and that’s a problem,” said Metaverse Poduct Manager, Arvind Baraaha. “Because there are so many children, a majority of our adult users are arrested within one to two weeks of creating their account. It’s a well-known fact that Meta’s products are popular with Republicans and it’s also a well-known fact that most Republicans are pedos. Don’t believe me? Search for ‘Republican’ and ‘pedo’ and then tell me that isn’t true. So anyway, in order to grow the product, we need a new strategy and catering to old white people has done us right for the last several years, so we decided ‘what the hell,’ and really leaned into it.”
According to the development team, the new VR world will still allow users to customize their avatars but will limit the skin tones to two options – white and slightly tanned white. This will ensure that all the avatars a user sees in the Metaverse, are white.
“If you have too many options, people tend to get scared and confused,” said Meta Tech Advisor, Milton Ereat. “What I mean is white people are scared of literally everything that isn’t white. And white people are our bread and butter, so you know we’re going to make sure they’re happy. So yeah, we took out almost all the color from the avatars. While it may seem weird that we’re catering to old white people, you also need to remember that programmers are inherently lazy, so it helps on the back end as well, because our guys don’t have to think as much.”
Other features of the new Metaverse will include AI voice filters, areas designated as “complaining spots,” lots of chairs for napping, and areas that will feature old logos for several companies.
“If there’s one thing that old white people hate, it’s change, so we’re going to have an entire area with places to hang out that feature companies’ old logos,” said Baraaha. “Remember the old Taco Bell logo with the orange and yellow bell? That’ll be there. You want that old, racist Ms. Buttersworth bottle? You can pick that up too. Pretty much anything you can think of, we’ll work it in. We’ve got a team of old, white guys just sitting in a room talking about ‘the good ol’ days’ and we’re just taking notes. They all might not be available at launch, but we will have so many old logos, it’ll be like living in the early 80s all over again. Just like old, white people like.”
The new strategy is said to have been developed in collaboration with the U.S. Federal government for the last several months.
“(Meta has) been given a huge grant to develop this new world,” said Ereat. “(Meta wasn’t) even asking for a grant. The Feds just gave it to us. We did have to promise that we won’t have any DEI or Trans stuff but… of course we won’t, we are Meta! We are all about the white… which is weird because most of us that make the products here are not white. Oh well. C.R.E.A.M. am I right?”
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