Black Man in TV Commercial Results in 270 Calls to 911
Published June 2018NASHVILLE, TN – The appearance of a black man in a television commercial frightened white viewers and resulted in more than 270 calls to police.
Random Tweets Reported as Actual News
Published July 2018NEW YORK, NY – Following current industry standards The Scoop News editorial staff have selected random tweets to report as actual news, instead of working, interviewing, and writing about current events.
Due to the overall laziness of journalists, posting tweets as news has become the primary template for most news organizations. For example, here is a tweet where a writer is writing a new book, or perhaps poem about tigers.
Due to the overall laziness of journalists, posting tweets as news has become the primary template for most news organizations. For example, here is a tweet where a writer is writing a new book, or perhaps poem about tigers.
Anderson Cooper 360 Host, Panelists Stuck in Infinite Loop
Published April 2018WASHINGTON, D.C. – Panelists and the host of Anderson Cooper 360 on CNN are stuck in an infinite loop as show producers scramble to get the program back on track.
Millennials Responsible for Declining Chastity Belt Sales
Published April 2018BOSTON, MA – A sharp decline in the chastity belt industry is being blamed on millennials.
This Million Dollar Baby Fan Theory Changes Everything
Published April 2018LOS ANGELES, CA – The internet is abuzz with a new fan theory that will change the way you see the classic film Million Dollar Baby.
Americans Moving to Areas Likely Targeted During Nuclear War
Published April 2018SAN FRANCISCO, CA – According to recent census data, Americans are flocking to large cities, specifically ones that are likely targets during a nuclear attack.
“Since the 2016 election, we’ve seen a sharp increase in people moving to cities that would be targeted first in a nuclear attack,” said U.S. Census Bureau representative, Kelly Zhou. “Cities like Los Angeles, New York, Washington D.C., Seattle – those cities are seeing a huge influx of people hoping to die right away when we end up in a nuclear war.”
Man Sues for Invitation to 12-Year-Old Girl’s Sleepover
Published February 2018OMAHA, NB – Local man Dean Waters, 27, is suing 10-year-old Lara Schriber for gender discrimination because Waters was not invited to Schriber’s “girls only” sleepover.
Researchers Studying Soccer Players’ Injury Recovery
Published February 2018COLUMBUS, OH – Researchers at the Cleveland Clinic are studying soccer players around the world for their unique ability to recover quickly from injury.
Trump Staring at Paused TV for Over Three Hours
Published March 2018WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump has been sitting in bed, starring at a paused image of the television show “Fox and Friends” for three hours, waiting for the program to continue.
“(Trump) has no idea that the TV is paused. He’s just sitting there watching it, waiting for the people to continue talking,” said head of Trump’s Secret Service detail, Ken Posher. “God, it’s been over three hours now and Trump is just sitting there, in his bed, with his fucking hamburgers, starring at his TV that is paused. Three fucking hours now. Every day we are reminded that Trump is a dumb, dumb man. Historically dumb.”
Experts Offer Ten Ideas for the Perfect Valentine’s Day
Published January 2018DALLAS, TX – The Valentine’s Day holiday can cause panic and anxiety for those looking for something original, exciting and romantic to do with their loved one.
